My husband (38m) wants me (40f) to have an abortion but I don't want to and it's ruining the marriage

We just found out that the little boy we're expecting has severe physical defects and has a 50/50 chance of even being born alive. That being said, the defects are correctable via surgery. He would never walk, but that's fine with me. His brain seems normal and the doctor said he wouldn't be in pain and if he lived, he'd probably have a happy life.

Husband disagrees and thinks raising a disabled child is a huge financial burden and he wouldn't be happy with a wheelchair kid. He wants to abort and try again.

This could be my last baby. I'm nearing menopausal age and I'm already slightly infertile. This baby is the first to have not miscarried in the first 10 weeks. I don't want to have an abortion, I want to see if he can survive until birth. Husband says it's not even human yet and we can try again. But this isn't just a fetus to me, this is my child. The first child who had even a chance of living. I already love him. It may sound overly sentimental, but it's really how I feel.

My husband is hinting he will leave me if I decide not to abort. I'm not sure what to do. I'm a stay at home wife with no recent work experience, I'd likely be homeless if we broke up. At the same time, I don't think it's right to be guilted into an abortion that I'm not 100% on board with.

tl;dr: Husband wants to abort deformed baby, but I want to keep him. He's hinting at divorce and I don't know what to do.

Do you have any advice for me?

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edit -

Thank you so much for the advice, even the harsh words. I appreciate it all. I just wanted to make it clear that the surgeries would be one-time after birth, on his leg stubs and to close a hole near his navel. Not ongoing surgeries throughout his life. Sorry for not being clear.

I think no matter what happens, I'll still be filing for divorce. I don't think I can live with someone who tries to blackmail me.

Submitted January 28, 2020 at 05:09PM by PrimaryHat8 https://ift.tt/316Vbu6