TLDR: My BF got a gaming PC, only place it goes is our bedroom. It's really loud so I can't sleep when he's gaming. He says he needs to game to escape from his stressful work life, I say I need sleep. He will go til 1am weeknights, much later weekends, and no matter how tired or sick I am he will refuse to stop or compromise on how long he plays so I can go to sleep. Have tried talking about it a lot but he doesn't see my point of view. I am going nuts from lack of sleep and have no idea how to fix this issue!
My BF (34m) got a new gaming PC a few months ago and the only place it goes is in our bedroom. It is loud. Even if he puts in headphones, the keyboard is clackety clackety. I've tried wearing a sleep mask and ear plugs but the furious clackety clackety of the keys means I can't sleep when he's gaming.
He games constantly when he's not at work. He'll go til 1am on weeknights and 3am or later on weekends or any time he has the next day off. Doesn't matter if I need to get up early, if I am sick or tired, he will not stop to let me go to sleep. He just says no. I've begged on occasion. I've tried sleeping on the couch downstairs, but I can still hear the keys through the floor and down the stairs. I just want to be able to go to sleep when I need sleep. I'm even willing to compromise. E.g. I want to go to sleep now, but I'll ask for him to give it another 30 mins/1 hr. And just wait for him to finish. And he says no, even if he's been gaming already for 5,6,7,8 hours straight.
I don't get it. I am feeling so confused and frustrated. It seems to me that sleep is a basic human need and it should trump gaming. But he says he is so stressed about work that he needs to game otherwise he will break down. I gently suggest that if it is causing him this much stress, then he should quit his job and/or get some therapy to help him cope. I've said I'll pay for it and support him financially while he finds a less stressful job. He basically ignores those suggestions and I don't know what to do about it anymore. I feel like I am going to lose it; I get bad anxiety and lack of sleep makes it so much worse. He knows this but he will be so snappy with me when I even ask him about bed time, as if he thinks I'm only asking to annoy him. I do everything for him; I do the chores, I manage the household, I even spend time doing some of his work for him to help ease the stress. I bring him drinks and snacks while he's gaming. I'm a caring person and don't mind doing this stuff, but to get nothing back AND then to have this happen, I'm beginning to feel taken advantage of and a bit crushed by it all. I feel he doesn't care about me; he says he loves me but I'm not feeling it.
We've been together 10 years and he hasn't always been like this, so I'm finding it difficult to work out what's happening. Am I being unfair? Something about being so sleepy and being in my own home, and not being able to sleep in my own bed in the dark and quiet is just destroying me, but then he feels like he's in his own home and should be able to game late into the night if he wants. There's also the fact that he rarely does anything with me anymore because he's always playing his game. I basically only see him when I bring him cups of tea. He'll shout down to me to ask for them. I can't believe this is my life. I've no idea how to make him see. I rarely get angry but feel like I am going to blow up over this. What can I do as a last ditch attempt before leaving? I really love him and we've been through a lot together :-(
Submitted January 29, 2020 at 03:17PM by KittyGrewAMoustache https://ift.tt/2S21KtK
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