My boyfriend's [35M] ex-wife [34F] (and mother of his child) dislikes me [28F] and is rude to me. I feel like my bf doesn't stick up with me and I'm tired of putting up with it.

This whole situation has been going on for like the whole time I have been with my boyfriend (~1 year) but a confrontation happened at the weekend that has really made me think I can’t go on like this anymore.

The brief backstory to this is that my boyfriend separated from his (ex)-wife about 2.5 years ago, they have one child together (aged 6). The divorce was not very amicable, and it took a long time to be settled and custody agreed etc. I was not involved in their separation, we only started dating about a year ago. His ex really dislikes me, I’ve met her maybe like twice but she is pretty rude to me. She doesn’t like me being their when he has his son and always wants to know if I will be there. I do kinda understand that and he only has his son to stay on alternate weekends so it’s easy for me not to be there.

He was due to have his son visit on Saturday morning and his ex told him she would bring him at 9am. I stayed at my bf’s place on Friday night, planning to leave on Saturday morning before he got there. But then before 8am, she arrived with the kid. Well my presence caused her to blow up, she yelled at my bf, insulted me (she called me a slut). I tried to stick up for myself then my bf got snappy with me and told me to stay out of it. They had this ongoing argument, and she said she thinks I should just go as this doesn’t involve me, even though I think it kinda does but he agreed and so I just left. My bf messaged me later and said he was sorry but he has to do what she wants because he doesn’t want her to limit his visitation any further.

I’ve obviously been thinking about it a lot and I’m beginning to think whether it is all worth it? This isn’t the first time she has been rude and insulted me, she doesn’t have to like me but she doesn’t need to be so rude and my bf also did not really defend me. I know she is always going to be involved somehow in our relationship but I feel like she has way too much influence on it and my bf. I don’t know what it’s like to co-parent so maybe this is to be expected? It would be useful to hear from divorced parents for advice?

I haven’t seen him since but supposed to see him tonight so I want to talk about what happened and our relationship. I am starting to think that if things don’t improve and I am going to be worried about her and dislike of me then I’m not sure it’s all worth it. I love my boyfriend but I feel like our relationship can’t go anywhere if she dictate this part of his life and won’t let me properly meet his son? Am I being unreasonable? If I want to stay with him do I just to have to accept and deal with bad-tempered ex-wives? (sorry this ended up being kinda long)

tldr: My boyfriend's ex-wife (they have a kid) was super rude to me. I feel like my bf didn't stick up for me. I don't want to put up with it anymore maybe it is to be expected with co-parents?

Submitted January 27, 2020 at 09:26AM by EveningRelationship1 https://ift.tt/2Rwy6hc