My fiancee K and I got engaged two months ago after three years of dating. I hadn't given her an engagement ring until about a week ago. I recently found a ring at an antique shop that I thought K would love. She had always wanted her engagement ring to be more than just a diamond (it has a sapphire ringed with smaller diamonds), and this ring fit her personality and wishes perfectly. I organized an engagement party for last weekend with our friends and her parents while they were in town (her parents live out of state). I told her about the party and that there would be a surprise (the ring) during it. We were really excited to celebrate with everyone.
As I was about to give a toast and present her with the ring, K's father A interrupted. He said that as everyone knew, I hadn't given her an engagement ring, and that he would like to give her a traditional family ring in lieu of my giving her one. She liked it enough. I didn't want to say anything in front of everybody, so I was a bit more subdued for the rest of the party than I might have been. No one seemed to notice except K, who asked me about it after the party. I showed her the ring I had picked out and she was overjoyed. When I asked about the family ring she said she'd wear it on her other hand, but she wanted to wear mine for our engagement. I was a little nervous to tell her parents, they tend to be touchy and overbearing about things like this. A would say he is a blunt person who tells it like it is, but it usually comes off as being incredibly rude.
Telling her parents was terrible. Her mother broke down sobbing, saying that she was rejecting family traditions and that she couldn't handle K not wearing the family ring. Her father was a bit more direct, calling my ring a cheap trinket (it wasn't) and saying that his ring had been in the family for three generations. K and her parents argued late into the night after I left-my presence was not helping.
My question is, should we return my ring? K doesn't really want to, but she wants to keep the peace. She feels as if she is always bending to her parents' wishes. Apparently wearing the family ring on her other hand is an unacceptable compromise. Should we stand firm or return the ring she loves for the sake of peace?
TL;DR Gave fiancee an engagement ring, her father gave her a different ring, she wants to wear mine. In-laws freaked out. Should we return mine?
Submitted January 28, 2020 at 02:00PM by wrappedroundurfinger https://ift.tt/38Oc53b
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