I [25M] completely ghosted my old friend/roommate [25M] without an explanation. They recently reached out upset, trying to figure out why I did this. Am I right in maintaining no contact whatsoever?

Long story but I'll try to keep it short --

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About 6 years ago I met this friend at college. We were roommates/housemates for several years. Between us and our housemates, we were as close as could be. We hung out every day, talked about girls, future jobs, worked out together - you name it. He was essentially on track to being a lifelong friend. The kind of guy I could bullshit about anything with.

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Now, picture our group of friends like the TV show Entourage. He was always a major asshole and ballbuster. We would talk trash to each other and joke around, and sometimes he really rubbed people the wrong way. Since he never really went after me that hard, I looked the other way at all his negative personality traits and his overall demeanor. After a rough start to college I really needed a group of friends to call my own so I latched onto him for better or worse.

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When it was just us housemates, things were excellent. Over the years, this guy introduced more of his friends into our circle of housemates. This just made things even worse. The trash talk and toxicity skyrocketed to new levels, because they were all just like him. What I thought was a secure group of friends now turned into a blurred/mixed setting where I didn't feel so welcome anymore. I wanted out of this group for a long time, but never had the guts to walk away because I would have been socially ostracized.

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Over a year ago, I met my current GF, who is as sweet as can be and helped me turn my life around. As we continued to date, I slowly cut this guy out of my life. I didn't really do it intentionally; just slowly, I stopped responding to invites, our group chat, and commenting on social media. I had really had enough. At the same time, I still maintain individual contact w/ my old friends from that group that I enjoy talking to. Occasionally, me and these friends still hangout, sometimes as a group but w/o him.

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Me and this guy have seen each other twice in the past year, and talked maybe a handful of times. He thinks that I left him behind because I got a gf. This is not true; however, she was helpful in getting me to leave him behind. My actual reasoning for moving on from him was that I finally got tired of his attitude and treatment towards people. He was extremely racist, arrogant, homophobic, and lacked proper empathy or awareness of how his harmful words affected people. Looking back at it, we were never a compatible match as friends. It just happened that he met me at a low point in my life where I needed to establish a social life in school, and so did he.

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Recently, he reached out to me and was upset that I cut him off. He wanted an explanation, and was indignant that what I did was "messed up" and it wasn't right. He tried to say that he "helped me" find my gf (He didn't. We met online and I never mentioned her to him until a month into us dating), and that I shouldn't treat him the way I have. He steered the entire thing as though it was my fault, which in my opinion, it's not. I haven't responded to him and I don't plan on it. I think I'm in the right here in that I don't owe him shit for an explanation.

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TL;DR - old friend/roommate wanted to reconnect after I cut them off for being an overall shitty/difficult person to deal with. Based on what he's said and done, I don't feel like he deserves to know why I moved on.

Submitted January 29, 2020 at 05:36PM by NewJerseyDoesntSuck https://ift.tt/2GBxikG