I'll try to keep it as short and detail oriented as possible, but I feel a lot of details are important.
I am not perfect, I don't expect perfection, I understand everyone is a person, and I feel like my standards aren't that high, but maybe I am wrong.
We have been dating for 4 years and met in college.
We have lived together for 3 years. We have split the bills 50/50 the past year, after 2 years of me paying all the bills, since he has college debt and I do not.
He is incredibly intelligent and got a 4.0GPA in college (not that GPA is the only way to factor intelligence), has no known disabilities, nothing that is knowingly prohibiting him from bettering himself. By the time I started realizing these issues (and it took a while for them to really stack up) we had already been dating for almost a year. I do love him, he has helped me through tough times, he is supportive to my growth as a person, and puts effort into growing as a person too.
Splitting chores has been an uphill battle, it has taken years to get from me doing 90% and him doing 10%, to finally being about 60/40, but his 40% still can take 1 to 2 weeks to finish, when I do my 60% almost daily (me doing the grocery list, meal planning, cooking, every day, him doing the dishes from these things 1 to 2 weeks later). He can cook meals that I do all the prepping for and that is honestly super helpful. He tells me all the time how he feels so much better not eating processed foods every meal. The rest of the chores often require me to redo them if he does them, even though I have walked him through how to do each chore many times since he often asks for help with the chores.
Getting him to brush his teeth and properly care for his hair and skin was an uphill battle. I actually had to buy him a toothbrush and basically forced him (one of the only things I have ever truly demanded) to a dentist for the first time in 15 years, he had 5 cavities and needed 3 cleanings in a month to repair years of damage. I bought him new brands of shampoo and body wash since he was experiencing hair loss and cracking skin from using cheap products, and now he says he hasn't ever felt this good about his teeth, hair, and skin.
It turns out, he infrequently experiences incontinence, a problem he has had his entire life. His mom never had him see a doctor for it once, and he thinks it's normal. My main problem is that when he has these infrequent episodes he almost never cleans up after himself and I am stuck cleaning the mess while he showers off. This is one of the main issues that I have a hard time dealing with. He refuses to see a doctor for any medical advice and has ruined our bed and couch, and I really don't enjoy cleaning up his urine.
He also likes to go out with his friend "D" and they get blasted together. He always comes home throwing up drunk and D will just leave and I am stuck with an adult who is throwing up all over the house. I have asked him repeatedly to watch what he drinks when he's out so that I don't have to take care of him. Once in a blue moon I understand, but every time he goes out he comes home belligerent. The final straw that broke the camels back is that tonight he came home at 1am, came into bed, and then puked all over me. I work at 5am, and no matter what, being puked on feels violating. He feels I am overreacting for being furious. I feel like this is the end of our relationship.
TL/DR and the main point of my post: My (25F) boyfriend (26M), of 4 years, is inconsiderate of the unequal amount of work he puts into our relationship. His lack of respect for our house, that we've shared for 3 years, and me has made me feel like our relationship is no longer worth it. I love him still and he has many good sides, I just feel like I can only see the bad now. Its easy to say "break up," but I need advice on how to move forward, if there is even a way to move forward at this point.
Edit: i have seen comments about this being satire or made up, unfortunately it’s 100% true.
Submitted January 29, 2020 at 01:21AM by vanillassbeannoelle https://ift.tt/37D4GU2
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