Hello, throwaway in case his friends browse lol
I've been in this relationship for almost a year, our anniversary is actually next week and I suppose I'll have to get something I can return in case we break up.
During lunar New year, my boyfriend invited me to his friends party. There's only a handful of people there I know, many of them are late 30s to early 40s, but they're nice. I just felt it was a bit hard to talk to many people, so of course I'm going to gravitate towards people I know. Upon entry, the room is gambling, the only seat available is next to bae's friend, let's call him Sean. Sean is a unique individual - a skinny, bald guy with glasses and pedostache. Definitely not attractive in my eyes, but he's cool/friendly and he def knows bae and I are together. I sit next to him because that's the only seat available and I want to gamble. I don't exchange much conversation except screams of "crab/gourd!!" And lose money.
The next "incident" is Sean being the house while operating a game of poker. Lunar New year is the only time I really gamble, so I sit down next to my boyfriend and I have to face Sean as he is the house. I lose more money. Later on, bae is congregating with a group of older men, so I bounce around the party eating and making small talk with some people. I end up joining Sean and two youngins who are discussing a conversation regarding their relationship. Honestly, I just like to hear Sean's commentary cuz it's entertaining. I make some comments regarding their relationship, but I never really converse with sean.
Later on, I join a room of people where Sean and bae are karaoking in their native tongue. I guess I look like I'm enjoying myself as I should be since I'm at a party and I haven't seen the two sing in anything other than English. Bae finishes his song, sits down next to me and tells me to "tone it down". Now this I'm not really sure what he meant, but I was like "ok..?"
As the night goes on, bae pulls me to an outside area and tells me to stop what I'm doing, that its disrespectful to the relationship, and that he doesn't deserve this. I'm honestly flabbergasted cuz I'm not sure what he's talking about, I know I'm not flirting, I'm eating way more and ive had three shots. I just tell him sorry and I'll stop. Fast forward to later when I'm in a pissy mood, so I sit down by myself and start texting my friend telling her the story. I decide to just lay down and pretend to pass out to avoid all this. Bae keeps coming over to me asking if I want to him to drive me home, cuz he can. I know what's going on here, let me just be tired and get up Ina bit, I'm not going to succomb to his wanting me out of this place.
Eventually I get up, and bae is playing a game. I notice my friend has arrived (I met him 9+ years ago and only see him at parties, so I know he's down to drink, but we never really hang/talk..he's just cool). So I come over and he like "hi Danny!! Let's take a shot" since I was sober and ugh at the prior situation. He obliges. Bae also says Danny swung his arm around my shoulder which I find is completely normal, but bae sees that otherwise. At some point, I ask Danny if he's hungry and walk outside to get a bowl of food for him.
At some point, I walk outside and call my friend (used to like me but we are platonic now) to tell him how ugh I am at my bf for what I perceive as overreacting. We end up talking outside for an hour and at this time, bae comes out to check on me. he's drunk so I end the conversation, and i check up on him from time to time.
As the party ends and bae takes me back to his place (initially asking me if I wanna get dropped off at home since he's pissed) we get into an argument.
He states that he doesn't deserve to be disrespected that way, that when he's out he always puts the relationship first and he deserves to be with a girl who knows her boundaries. As I hear this, Im completely taken aback as I feel I didn't do anything wrong. I was merely hanging out with people I know, rarely sharing comments about myself, but moreso the environment or events, and making sure people were fed/drinking. He was always playing a game (one on one with an opponent), or just in his own bubble with other people, so I didn't want to intrude. We see each other practically everyday so I would imagine doing my own thing at a party is ok. I know I'm not flirting, but he said it doesn't matter and for me to stop being selfish..put myself in other people's shoes and it looks weird that I'm hanging out with certain ppl moreso than bae. He also stated that someone said I was Blushing (lolllll) when I just have Asian flow. Danny and Sean know we are together btw. I find it stupid to acknowledge what other people say/think when I know the truth. He told me that my emotional quotient is very low, and that I have no self awareness when it comes to social situations. He also said that "he can get with a prettier/more successful/better family oriented girl" than me, but he's with me because of my personality. I found this a bit uncalled for. Honestly if you know me, I'm a very extroverted talkative person, I'm going to talk to people that reciprocate back. I feel like he's completely reading this wrong, but here we are.
I'm pretty bummed about this because of all the people I've come across, ive never met anyone like my boyfriend. He's a truly unique individual, but this aspect of him annoys the heck out of me. I really enjoy our chemistry with one another because I've never had this type of connection before with anyone else.
Tldr: boyfriend wants time to think about our relationship because I "disrespected" it by hanging out with people in a group setting. I'm just talking to people and def not flirting.
Is he overreacting? Am I in the wrong because I'm talking to friends? How do I make sure that these situations don't arise?
Submitted January 28, 2020 at 02:03PM by Live-Elevator https://ift.tt/314S1Hh
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