Not that anyone needed/wanted an update but i just need a way to vent a bit. Hopefully not breaking any rules by doing so.
tldr: She no longer wanted to be with me, wanted to start a new life after only after telling me that I was not I what I used to be (I grew up) leaving me broken and scared... Hating life itself.
First off I wanted to say thank you for those of you who commented with support and care.
Unfortunately Its been really rough for me, She didn't fully move out until today, yet the constant reminder of her has been hurting me greatly. What probably hurts the most is that it turns out she left me for her drug abusing ex. Already moving into his place less than a week after our breakup. I feel like this all is some bad dream that I've yet to wake from. I still feel alone, broken, and scared. Though now after this, I feel cold. Almost disconnected; I do not understand what he can give her that I couldn't when I gave her everything. I feel anger now too due to the fact that I tried so hard to be the best thing in her life. I treated her like a queen. Fun/Romantic Dates, Flowers everything I could think of. I still love her and want her but the fact that she can go to him within days of breaking up, tells me that maybe I am dodging a bullet like some mentioned. Though I'm having the hardest time actually believing that. I miss her, and need to let go.
As for an update on my dog, after finding out who she was with and living with we talked and my dog is with my mother now. I cannot give him the attention he requires with my current work situation, though I wanted him to be safe.
Overall, I think I will one day find peace in the matter, however right now I feel that I will make it through this long and lonely road. Maybe this should be posted to the Advice sub however I feel that since its related to a relationship I should post the following here...
I don't know how to really live alone, my life since High school has been with her. We've lived together since "leaving the nest". I've been having a hard time taking care of my self since she left, I've noticed a lack of cleanliness and just motivation to do anything. I have been struggling at work and didn't notice until my boss had a "conversation" with me about it. How do you get motivated again after losing what felt like the world. I am still trying to drop the hatred towards myself but that is going along slowly... I guess my question here is how to go on and start a new life? How to not hate myself and look towards the future and become motivated?
tldr: Not sure how to start life again, while still drowning in feelings and emotions. How to become motivated to go out and get on with life. How to learn to take care of myself again...
Submitted January 31, 2019 at 09:41PM by Atomic_____ http://bit.ly/2HI4Alt
No comments:
Post a Comment