My fiance (24m) is not happy that I (32m) am not spending frivolously after my income taxes have dropped.

I'm trying really hard to be polite today. I keep hearing the advice once married "my money is our money" from different married couples. We are newly engaged. My fiance (we are lgbt) and I are not rich. He doesn't have a job and is currently looking. I only make around 2k a month. We are living on a wires edge financially until he gets employment. I have been covering all of the bills and our rent split with a third roomate in a two bedroom house. Without getting into the details of my budget, I had to buy a new windshield, put 200 on a credit card, and a down-payment on a yard barn for storage and bills are coming due on the first.

He suddenly wants to go out to eat, give him 20, 30 bucks at a time. All because my taxes dropped. I'm trying to be polite, but it's close to becoming an argument. I have big ticket responsibilities coming due with this tax money and I feel he is being pushy. He wants "us to do something together" and is "tired of sitting in the house" today and yesterday, everytime I say let's come up with something cheap or free he goes quiet then comes up with an idea that is expensive. This is becoming a trend and this combined with the lack of sex (from him) and my work stress I'm starting to not only get frustrated but question this entire engagement and his motives for being with me. I understand that in relationships money is a hot topic, and should be shared, but I am not rich and the responsibilities, hell we aren't even middle class, and what we have to pay for are for BOTH of our benefits. It's so he doesn't get a ticket when driving my car with a broken windshield, so we aren't put out on the street. He borrows money from me a lot and doesn't pay me back so I'm holding firm this time.

Am I being unreasonable? Not happy. If I say too much I'm going to not be nice right now, so I'm staying in the other room for most of the day. I don't need this to blow up into an argument. Any form of conversation on the matter he suddenly thinks I'm accusing him of using me. My tone comes off that way I suppose, no matter how big of a fake smile I plaster on my face.

TL;DR

My fiance wants me to spend more money than I currently have budgeted on frivolities after my income taxes have dropped and this combined with other frustrations is making me question my entire relationship.

Submitted February 23, 2019 at 01:56PM by Zephenia https://ift.tt/2SlhGFr