So my husband and I have been together a total of 5 1/2 years, married for 3 months and have a 3 year old together. I really love this man, but he tests my sanity some days to the point where I feel like I could explode.
He works full time at a very boring monotonous job M-F with mandatory OT almost every Saturday. We work most opposite shifts during the week and our son is in daycare during the overlap. About two years ago my SO got into filming. He started out with iPhone filming and eventually got his first camera. He’s made several videos he’s posted to YouTube. He follows all the big YouTubers and watches endless tutorials and videos of things he likes. He’ll also rewatch videos he’s posted. I was supportive with this hobby until it started to rub me the wrong way..
In his videos he seems very disingenuous and not authentic, like a bad actor. He talks to the “viewers” and sounds very stiff/fake. This is not just my opinion, but that of my friends as well. He has decent content, and his editing is very good, and he’ll usually show me what he’s made before posting it. I was an art major in college, so I’ll offer constructive criticism and make suggestions, but those usually fall on deaf ears.
This is all beside the point. Filming has become a BIG part of his life. If we’re doing something together that’s new or cool, he has his filming gear along. If we’re doing something boring/routine like going to the laundromat, he has his filming gear. I feel like we could never just go somewhere like normal people because he has to document everything... he was busy filming for a good part of our honeymoon. He usually is out of the house at least once a day trying to get footage. And on the weekends, when we should be (at least in my opinion) spending time together as a family, he’s up before everyone else and planning to be out of the house for the better part of the day filming. I’ll ask he be home for dinner and he’s usually late. If he’s stuck inside for any reason, he’ll complain about how bored he is. This drives me insane because there’s literally a million things to do around the house.
When he’s not filming, he’s editing. Or watching YouTube videos, or rewatching HIS YouTube videos. I really tried to be supportive and I feel bad because I snapped after having a few drinks a couple weeks ago. We were playing a video game and got kicked off. I reconnected and was waiting for him to get back on. I went upstairs to our room to check what the hold up was and he was laying in bed watching a recently posted video he’d shared and was laughing. It just ... turned me off and also set me off. He is borderline narcissistic and just watching him watch himself so adoringly was gross and I flipped.
Nothing’s changed since then. He takes our son to his mothers or fathers house at least once a week so they can watch him while he’s out getting footage. He explores abandoned buildings or flies his drone.
This morning, our son woke us up at 6am from vomiting, and he’s been vomiting every hour since. I picked up a 3-11pm shift at work earlier this week and my husband had the nerve to tell me that he’ll “maybe” be taking our child to his moms to spend the night. I lost my shit because last I checked, it was a parents job to take care of a sick child. I was half tempted to call out sick but I need the extra $ for some medical bills.
I’m fed up with hearing he’s “bored”. I’m tired of watching him try and become YouTube famous. If I wanted to date someone like Casey Neistat(if that’s how it’s spelled) I would’ve done that from the get go. I don’t know what’s happened to the modest, easily pleased guy I met years ago. It’s like he has some unobtainable goal he’s reaching for when he has a wife and family who are craving his time and attention. I can’t help but roll my eyes when I see him digging out his camera gear if we’re gonna go somewhere. I just wish he was enjoying what we were doing together instead of trying to capture it on film to share with a bunch of strangers who couldn’t care less.
And if I’m being overly dramatic/sensitive, or controlling someone please tell me. I have generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder, and I feel like my husbands goal sometimes is to land me in a psych ward. I just can’t understand why he can’t be present and in the moment. I feel like everything he does there’s a deeper motive to get more likes and subscribes. I feel awful that I can no longer show my excitement and support for this hobby. All i want to do anymore is break his camera gear.
TL;DR: husband is obsessed with YouTubing and our relationship is struggling because of it.
Submitted February 02, 2019 at 08:25AM by youtubedout http://bit.ly/2RzhbHx
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