Hello everyone,
First of all thank you all for spending the time to read this. I need a venue to vent and air things out, so thank you. Here it goes:
I've been dating my boyfriend for 2.5 years now, and we've been living together for majority of the time.. we got close very fast. Anyways, I am just in this position where I truly think our relationship is going downhill.
I feel drained all the time, and he tells me I drain him. Ever since we have been living together, I was passively passed on the responsibility of the daily chores and up keep of the apartment. I also became fully employed as a shift worker...while he maintains in school full time at the moment. We have had many discussions about him taking on more responsibility, and he has agreed that he wasn't doing his part and he will do better. Every since then, he has been improving but quite inconsistent. I do not ask him to do my laundry or things that I have left out, just things mess that he creates. (i.e. leaving food out after cooking, grease all over the stove, clothes on the floor, lights left on).
I admit, I have a bad habit of not being able to keep my mouth shut. I find it difficult to not say anything and constantly have to clean up after him... so I will tell him. However, every time I do, I feel guilty and I feel scared to tell him. Therefore, I will apologize every time before, I say I am sorry for asking but do you mind do _______? etc. Which... annoys him, and he replies in an annoyed manner. To me, I feel like he's mad that I am nagging him, but also I feel that if you clean up after yourself, then I wouldn't need to keep asking.
My boyfriend also say this "I don't need this right now, I don't care, I always do something wrong, theres always something new" - But to me, it is the same old thing. I repeat the same requests... (can you wash your dishes, can you turn the lights off). I feel like he expects me to just keep my mouth shut and just complete the tasks. Also, for some reason, I always feel like the one at fault whenever our arguments happen because I asked him to clean up. He tells me that I do not know how to drop it. It is extremely difficult when the same issues arise and when I ask politely for him to just clean up after himself that that will automatically be labelled as me causing a problem. I feel like in his eyes, I am the one at fault.
He tells me he is stressed about his life. He's graduating soon and unable to find a job yet. I understand he is stress, but I feel like he uses that as an excuse for being sort of a dick to me? It almost seems to me that because he is stressed that I should be understanding and supportive regardless of what he puts on me. However... keep in mind that he has been using this excuse for 1 - 2 years now.... I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like this will be never ending for me. I want to be with him, but I also want someone I can depend on. Not someone that says I complain too much when I am stressed and that he wants to listen.... but not if its takes too long. I know everyone is going to say to break this relationship up, but I just really need some support right now. Thanks <3
**TL;DR; : Basically my boyfriend says I nag him, but if he keep up with the promise that he will clean up after himself.. I wouldn't have to speak up. I feel guilty every time I ask him to do something because he gives me a negative attitude, and then gets mad at me for apologizing because I am scared he will get mad at me. He sits around at home and watches videos on his computer on the couch, and sometimes play games. He doesn't really study or do anything productive in my opinion... I feel that if you have so much time that you can at least clean up after yourself..**.
Submitted February 24, 2019 at 08:10PM by Ghostpepperconsumer https://ift.tt/2GIc32W
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