Found out my(30m) girlfriend(25f) of 2 years was having an affair with a married man when she was younger.

Sorry if this comes off as rambling - but I'm still kind of in shock about what I found out.

When we first started dating ~ 2 years ago, the topic of exes came up. We were seeing each other maybe once a week, and one day she told me she was going to give her ex a ride from the hospital and needed to cancel our plans. Meanwhile, she mentioned how this ex wanted to "fight" me (lol) and was harassing her daily since she started talking to me.

I was obviously not cool with her staying in touch with someone who was trying to stand in the way of our budding relationship; so we talked about it. She agreed it was best to cut him off - but while we were talking she mentioned how she once got her heart broken by a man she was dating. At the time, she said she didn't know the guy was married - they fell in love, and then he dropped a bombshell saying he was married and left her to be with his family.

~2 years go by, relatively well. Last night we were talking about mistresses after watching the Sopranos. She must have forgotten what she told me earlier in the relationship - because she told me again about her relationship with a married man - but this time she said that she knew the guy was married before they ever met for the first time. She met him through a dating app, and thought it was exciting to sleep with a married guy. She did wind up falling in love with him, and he did wind up leaving her to be with his family and it did break her heart.

I was in a state of shock. Two huge red flags popped up in my head. Firstly, the obvious one that she lied about it when we first started dating. She framed the story completely differently. I kind of get it. She didn't want to tell me the full truth - but she specifically framed it as though she was surprised to know he was married.

Secondly, she doesn't feel guilty or remorseful about having a year-long affair with a married man. It would be one thing if she slept with him a few times and realized it was wrong - but she admitted that he hid it from his wife for almost a year, and she went along with it because she loved him. This makes my stomach turn. I was leaning towards marrying her - but it seems she doesn't respect a monogamous marriage.

She can tell something is up today - she is texting me normally and being sweet like she normally is, but I don't want to talk to her. I am mad she lied, and disappointed that she honestly doesn't think what she did all those years ago was wrong. I am so in love with her, but I don't know if I can get over this.

Anyone been in a similar situation? Or is this pretty unique. Need advice on how to talk to this about her - because right now I just want to tell her that I don't see her the same way.

TLDR; gf of 2 years hid the fact that she was someones mistress for a year, a few years before we met. she doesn't show remorse for it - and I now think much differently about her.

Submitted February 25, 2019 at 10:48AM by wtfwhylie https://ift.tt/2U6pM6E