When I was younger, I thought I had a grasp of what it was supposed to feel like.
From age 20-24, I was in a relationship where I feel like the person I was with was the reason that made my life feel... more. I was shaping my life around her and our relationship trying to do whatever I can to make it work. When things were good, I was glad she and I were together to share those moments. Where things were bad, they felt especially bad if it had involved her.
But the relationship met its eventual end due to life circumstances.
Eventually I met someone new who I clicked with right away. We felt comfortable with one another and we got along well.
On paper, she is as great a SO can be. She's supportive, she's flexible, she's caring, she's nurturing, and she's honest.
When things are good, I feel happy I'm with her.
When things are bad, I found myself feeling a bit put off but not as upset as I used to be with my other SO. I chalked this up to just growing up.
I was planning to marry this person until I met a woman by chance recently.
She made me feel the emotion and passion that I've never felt for anyone since my ex. And it left me completely lost and confused. I avoided her out of obvious respect and loyalty to my current SO but made me wonder if I was doing myself a great harm and my SO a great harm by marrying someone I didn't feel that kind of passion for.
But how necessary is that passion? Is that love? Or is that just our monkey brains surging emotional triggers for whatever reason?
Is what's on paper more important than emotion?
I haven't yet talked to my SO about it because I know this isn't a topic she can handle well. She has a great self-confidence issue and because quite sensitive with anything that involves me and our relationship.
But my greatest fear is that I'm wasting her time. That one day I'll realize that I'm with the wrong person even if everything is right on paper.
My best friend told me that I may just be going through a thing. That I caught feelings for someone. And that those feelings are just feelings. Logically it makes no sense for me to like the other person.
I am lost Reddit. Feeling like a fool and a douche.
TL;DR: I think I'm with an amazing person on paper. But I do not feel this passionate desire. People are saying "you're playing it safe", "you're just comfortable," and I'm not 100% sure if that's a bad thing. Others are saying that what I'm feeling is love and I'm just having second thoughts because it's time for a greater commitment.
Submitted February 01, 2019 at 02:02AM by PM_Me_Your_2Cents http://bit.ly/2t1GYOS
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