My ex-husband [33M] left me [29F] for the "other woman" [26F]. She is now trying to become friends with me and I don't want to be but the situation is difficult because kids involved [6M+4M]

My ex-husband left me last year for another woman he was cheating on me with. The break-up/divorce was messy because I was angry for a long time about the whole thing. However, we have two sons (6 + 4) so for that reason we are on OK terms now, though our communication is limited to talking to about the kids.

He is still in a relationship with the “other woman” and she is who I’m having the problem with. She is trying to now be friends with me. When the kids are with her she sends me pictures of them and she sends me messages asking how the boys etc. I know she is trying to be nice but it’s still hard for me to see my children with her - She had an affair with my husband for months. I only gave her my number in case she ever needed to contact me in an emergency. Then last time I saw her she hugged me like a long lost friend and said we should have a catch-up sometime. I told her quote bluntly no thanks.

My ex messaged me later to say I shouldn’t have been rude to her and it's not her fault. I don’t think it’s his place to say anything and I am usually polite to her when I see her but I don’t want to be her friend, not right now anyway. This whole break-up situation is still quite raw for me, I was totally blindsided when I found out about the affair. Theres about 100 pages I could write on here about that and how it affected me.

I do want to maintain an OK relationship with my ex and her for the sake of the kids but that’s it. I couldn’t hang out with her like a friend.

Am I being stupid and stubborn about this? Should I just suck it up and be friendlier with her? is there any way to actually do this though when I still feel resentful?

tldr: my ex-husband left me for the "other woman". she is now trying to be my friend and I really don't want to be. it's a difficult situation because i share custody with my ex-husband.

Submitted January 03, 2019 at 10:33AM by LittleWindow6 http://bit.ly/2Aqdn5t