Hey reddit!
I'm new here, and I literally made this account just because I'm so frustrated beyond belief about my parents. And also I forgot to take my melatonin earlier and I can't sleep. They refuse to believe that they are in the wrong about all this and make me feel bad that I'm making them feel bad. This is probably gonna be longer than it should be but whatever.
Being 100% filipino, I've been taught that my parents' rules are absolute (Although I can do certain out-of-the-ordinary things with some intense negotiation 2-3 days before). Some being: no alcohol (I'm turning 19 in a few months which is the legal drinking age in Canada), Church is a priority, be home before 9, they can track my location so I need to have my phone charged, etc. It sounds shitty, but there are filipinos that have it worse than I do.
My boyfriend (lets call him Rick) is so sweet, and we've been in a relationship for almost 2 years. The problems arise when I bring him over to my house where he has to interact with my parents, especially my mom. They think they're being nice and they actually like him, but he's pretty overweight (5'8", about 215-220 lbs I think) compared to me (5'4", 115 lbs). He was always a big guy and was actually almost at his target weight when we started dating and he started putting the weight back on during our relationship.
I didn't care then, I still don't care now, but my parents always make it a point to mention Rick's weight to me as soon as he's out of earshot. Sometimes they even make "jokes" right to his face. We were celebrating my little sister's birthday at our house (just family + him) and my mom offered Rick a slice of cake. He said no and my mom replied with "good" (because cake is unhealthy. Ha get it?). I've told her in the past that he's sensitive about his weight, but then still tries to make a "joke" about it to his face? Another time was when we were still going to the gym. My mom was looking at Rick's mom's facebook and found older pictures of when he was skinnier and sent them to me. She wanted me to "send this to him for inspiration ;)". He told me he was skipping meals and overall just not dieting properly during the time of that picture. I didn't send them to him because: he has a good memory! who would have thought! Another time was when we were following a workout regimen that was 4 weeks long and after we basically finished it, I don't remember what she said but it was like she was expecting to see dramatic results after a month of going to the gym 3-4 times a week.
I've tried to tell her + my dad (bc they have the same exact mindset) that what they say about Rick's weight is kinda offensive, and they have the nerve to make some bullshit excuses like "I never mean anything" or "it's just a joke!" and a more ridiculous one is "this is how the filipino culture is, you guys are too sensitive and find everything offensive". And they have the nerve to follow up those excuses with "Don't make us feel bad, we're your parents!". All I'm doing is just pointing out that what they said to Rick was kinda mean and insensitive and they get mad about it because they can't say whatever they want anymore.
Not to mention that they're not just like this about Rick, they act like this even towards me. I find something they said to me offensive, I try to tell them I was offended by it, and then they think that I'm not someone they can take seriously because I'm their offspring and "my brain isn't fully developed yet" or "I think 'higher' than you because I'm an adult/I'm your mom". Do they still see me as a child who speaks nonsense? Because I'm really not. All I want from my parents is to just treat Rick with respect, and to take what their almost-adult-children say seriously.
Tl;dr: My parents won't stop "joking" about my boyfriend's weight/insecurities, I tell them off about it and they get mad because they don't want to be corrected.
Submitted January 28, 2019 at 11:45PM by 9a____ http://bit.ly/2GciN7Q
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