I'm [23f] paying my parents [42f 44m] back, after they paid for part of my college tuition. It's causing arguments between my boyfriend [26m] and I

I told my parents I'd pay them back, for the financial help they gave me during college. They didn't ask me to, but I wanted to. Between scholarships, financial aid, and help from my parents I graduated college with very little debt. But my parents went without a lot, to make that possible. Neither of them had gone to college, my dad worked a blue collar job that was tough on him physically, my mom had trouble keeping a job because of some mental health struggles but she kept trying and finding new jobs. And they both accepted they'd have to put off retirement to support me through college because it was really important to them that I got an education.

So, after I paid off my student loans within my first year of work, I started to pay back my parents for my college, so they didn't have to keep working for so long, and worrying about money. I have a great job as an engineer and I have the money to spare. It's not like I'm neglecting my own future by doing this, I'm putting a lot of money into my retirement savings accounts too. All that I'm giving up is a little bit of luxury now, I'm living in a smaller apartment and not buying many things for myself, so I can give that money to my parents.

And it seems like my boyfriend Ken is starting to resent that about me. We've been together for 3 years, starting in college, and even then he knew I wanted to pay my parents back for my education.

He doesn't like how I'm not spending much on myself, he thinks I deserve better than my small apartment, even though I told him that it's the nicest, cleanest, best maintained place I ever lived, and I'm happy with it. He also doesn't like how I haven't gotten much for entertainment there, no TV or game console, or that kind of thing. But I just don't think those things are worth the money right now. He told me that he thinks I'm living in a shithole so I can keep supporting my parents, when that shouldn't be my job.

I don't think he understands how much my parents sacrificed to get me through college, and why it is so important to me to give back to them now.

We had an argument right before New Year's Eve, when we were invited to a party at a kinda upscale bar. I thought I'd wear a dress I already had, a basic Little Black Dress kinda thing. It fits me well and I thought was appropriate for the party, if I did my hair and makeup nicely. (It was from Goodwill, but it's such a simple timeless look that I don't think it looks cheap) But he really wanted to go shopping and pick up some new clothes for both of us to wear. I said I'd buy something if I found something I really loved, but I'm kinda picky about clothes so I might not buy anything.

He asked me to try on a red dress, and I did, and I liked it well enough. Then I looked at the price, and went "It's a nice dress, but it's not $160 levels of nice" and we had an argument where he said that was just what well made clothes cost, and that I couldn't live my whole life shopping at Goodwill and Walmart. I said that they're marked up too much then, and he made some dig at me sending my money to my parents instead.

I said it was much more worthwhile to do something kind for family then to buy more dresses than I need, and he said "so what, is your family always going to come before us?" I thought that was kinda ridiculous, we could have had a nice night out without me wearing a new dress. Plus he knows this isn't forever, just for another year and a half till they're all paid back

TLDR - I'm paying my parents back for my college education. They didn't make me, I just want to help them out after they sacrificed a lot to get me through college. It's becoming a sticking point between my boyfriend and I.

Submitted January 04, 2019 at 07:28AM by relationship72i6 http://bit.ly/2Qm2KWM