10 months ago my wife, daughter, and i moved to Hawaii for a job. It’s 2 year contract. I can renew it or we can go back home when the 2 years are up.
Living in Hawaii has been absolutely amazing for us financially. I make almost double my previous salary, have more PTO, bigger bonuses, and lots of guaranteed overtime pay. Housing is also paid for which it’s not back home.
It’s also fucking Hawaii. We live in a luxury apartment minutes from the beach. We can see the beaches and mountains from our bed. It’s stunning. We have become outdoorsy folks because it’s just too beautiful to not be outside.
The only issue is the people. My wife is pretty alone. She’s struggling to make friends. I have lots of buddies from work but not a single one is married or in a committed relationship.
She has really tried to push herself to befriend other moms in the area and she’s found a few but nothing feels genuine she says. They all feel like forced friendships to her.
She’s not some antisocial weirdo, it’s just kind of hard to find new friends as an adult. We have only lived one other place, the town we grew up in. We were surrounded by old friends and family. She was also in school and working back home. She’s done with school now and hasn’t gotten a job since our daughter was born. She definitely wants to go back to work but she wanted to wait until our daughter could talk before we put her in day care.
I want to renew the job contract 100%, my wife does not. She wants to go back home. I feel like I can NOT go home. I have no desire to live in a tiny little washed up town while we are literally getting paid to live in paradise.
I know having friends and family is important when you are a new mom(baby is 16 months old now) but I feel like if we stuck it out 2 or 4 or 6 more years, she’d have real friends here in Hawaii. Again, let me emphasize, we are living in a luxury apartment in Hawaii FOR FREE.
If we continue to do this, our financial situation will be set.
How do we compromise on this? I can’t help but feel like my wife is crazy for wanting to give this all up. If nothing else, moving back home is a bad financial move for us.
I think my wife will like it more once she gets a job but that won’t be until much later. Any advice is appreciated.
TLDR: my wife and I can’t agree on where to live
Submitted January 27, 2019 at 07:59PM by datadatesdaty http://bit.ly/2FU4ENg
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