I have always been a lurker on reddit but now I need advice. I have been crying for hours before writing this. I met my boyfriend 3 years ago on a dating app.He's the best relationship I ever had. He loves me, he takes care of me and I love him. I have been in abusive relationships before meeting him and he made me realize that I was never loved before, I was just abused. He helped me to love myself again, to regain confidence.
I am really close to my family, they are part of my life. My entire family loves him. He get's along with everyone in my family. Yet, I have never met anyone from his family despite him telling me he loves them. Granted they live few hours away, so Ok, but he never sees them or talks to them. He has met all my friends, yet he has no friends. None. I lived my whole life here and he only moved here before he met me but in 3 years he has never made a single friend. I am the center of his life.
He's 28, have no car, no drivers license but he knows how to drive. He never talks about his upbringing or his life before he met me. The work he does is seasonal so he doesn't work for a big part of the year. I know he doesn't make much money but it's never been a problem. He makes enough to pay the bills but not enough to save some, not enough to buy a house, to have a future. We share the bills and I try to make it equal since I make more than him. He says he doesn't care about money and often buy me things. I was raised on a farm so I am not materialistic, neither is he but he loves bringing me gifts.
In the beginning of the relationship we both went to sleep at the same time but I never understood why he would wake up so late during the day, hours after me. After a while I realized that he was never sleeping. Every night he was wide awake, the whole night, next to me. He would just watch me sleep. Often, when I woke up, went to the bathroom during the night he would close his eyes pretending to be asleep. He then slept during the day. When I put my hand on his chest I can feel his heart is always racing. The only time his heart is not beating fast is when he is sleeping during the day. When I confronted him about it he said he could never sleep at night and had insomnia. He said he doesn't know why his heart beat is irregular, that he is aware of it but that he had a clean bill of health. After that he only accompanied me to bed and leave as soon as I am falling asleep. The only time he stays now is when we go spend the week end at my parents house, he stays the whole night wide awake next to me, then sleep until mid day. None of that is normal. He has never been violent towards me or anyone but if I wake him up or if anything wakes him up when he is sleeping, he goes nuts. I can see on his face a weird confusion like he doesn't who I am or where he is. It only last a few seconds but there is a really violent expression on his face that looks nothing like him until it wears off and he is no longer confused. So I try to never wake him up because it's really stressing me out. When He sleeps he sweat profusely, anomaly.
Then there is the eating. I try to make him eat 3 regular meals during the course of "his day". Like normal people. But every time I cook him food, he is not hungry, or there is not enough food. He will either eat one giant meal a day, or not eat at all, or eat all night when I sleep. I have given up on trying to have normal meal with him.
Then there is the door knobs. He keeps breaking the door knobs on "accident" he says in our apartment.I really have no idea why. But I often see him fidgeting with it. I keep telling him the door is closed already but It's like he can't hear me.
Because he is not working a big part of the year, he does all the cleaning, all the groceries and takes care of the apartment. Everything is always perfect when I get home. I ask him why he doesn't get a job until he has to do his seasonal work he says he doesn't see the point, that money isn't important. He doesn't drink he doesn't smoke or do drugs but he told me he did at some point in his life. He has no hobbies, no friends, he doesn't watch tv and rarely goes on the computer. Sometimes when I go in the living room he's just sitting there, doing nothing, staring at the wall. Lately I feel like the amount of time I've seen him just starring at things, doing nothing, has increased. I asked him if there was anything wrong. He just replied that, that wasn't a question and to be specific about what I wanted to ask him. What kind of an answer is that ?I asked him what he does when he goes out at night and he says he just take walks. I really want to build a future with him. I love him but I want a normal life, a normal house, a normal family. I think he might have a mental illness. And it's suddenly getting a lot worse. I am crying right now. I just don't know what to say to him. It's scaring me. He's scaring me. I just don't know what to do. I know he loves me. But no one acts like that, it's just not normal. It's the weekend here. It's the middle of the night and he's outside, no idea where.
tldr; I think there is something wrong with my boyfriend and I don't know what to do.
Submitted January 27, 2019 at 12:24AM by cantlivelikethis1 http://bit.ly/2TfxvyQ
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