Dad[M50] just found out he has a 34 year old son from before he married my mom and has offered to meet him. Any advice would be great.

So last night my family got some pretty shocking news. My parents did an ancestry DNA test about a year ago and my dad received a message from a 34 year old (we'll call him Fred) that ancestry says that my father is his father too. My dad believes it, he had sex with the guy's mom when he was 16 (my dad is 50 now). The mother was already engaged and apparently used her pregnancy as an excuse to speed the marriage process along.

A little bit more background, apparently the man who Fred believed to be his father died when Fred was 7. My father has not spoken to the woman since her and my father had sex 35 years ago, except once where they ran into each other at a grocery store when Fred was 2. My father was with his friends at the time and they joked that Fred was his son, never actually believing it to be true. Fred also has a 2 year old son now.

My father replied to Fred and offered to meet him and we're still waiting for a reply (he lives about 3 three hours from my hometown). My question is what do you guys think the right way to react in this situation is and what sort of expectation can we have going forward? It's not even clear that Fred wants to meet and we don't know when Fred found out that the man who raised him was not his biological father.

I'm experiencing a crazy mix of emotions and would love to hear some advice.

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TL;DR: my dad has a son and a grandson he didn't know about from before he met my mom and idk where to go from here.

Submitted January 04, 2019 at 08:18AM by BurnieMcburnface http://bit.ly/2s9ZJPJ