My [25F] bf [28M] constantly makes "jokes" about my eyes, nose, face, basically implying that I'm ugly, fat and short, but then claims I wouldn't have issues with his "jokes" if I wasn't "insecure"

We've been together for 4 years.

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Sometimes I get the feeling that hes unnecessarily cruel to people at their expense simply because he thinks its funny to do so.

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Im not the only person hes done this to (he has told me stories about what hes done to his friends, expecting me to laugh but I didn't find it funny at all and told him what hes describing isn't okay)

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For a bit of background I don't know if I'm insecure any more then your typical women my age tbh. Are there things I wish I could change ? yes. I am short, I use to be fat in my early teens but lost a lot of weight late teens and Im in okay/good shape now, I have insecurities over cellulite and large stretch marks due to the weight loss. No matter how much I exercise and rub bio oil, theyre not going anywhere.

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I have some asymmetry in my body, one of my eyes is smaller then the other though I have rather big eyes to begin with. My nose is slightly big (nothing crazy, just a bit wide), my face is generally wide and has a weird circle shape.

So all in all, I have insecurities but I don't think I'm ugly. I can look in the mirror and think "I clean up okay".

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Now back to my bf :

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bf constantly makes comments on how weird it is that my eyes are different in size. Before I met him, I didnt have a single person tell me that my eyes were different sizes.

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He also makes comments on how "short" I am. He is taller then me so he uses it to compare quite a bit. how my face is massive like a soccer ball, makes comments on my nose a lot too.

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Yesterday, I dont know why but it just all built up and I blew up.

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Early in the day we were talking about something and I made a comment on how it was sad that he was on his phone all the time to even notice the thing he mentioned (hes on his phone NONE stop)

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he then tells me that its sad that one of eyes is so much smaller then the other. I try and make light of the situation and told him that he needs to stop with his comments or I will be having plastic surgery to fix things.

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he responds to that by telling me that I should get my nose fixed with a rhinoplasty while Im at it because its "sooo big that it interferes with us kissing".

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I tell him again that I actually don't like these comments as they make me feel insecure. He stops.

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We go out for dinner. And I got a new lip balm which unfortunately has a tint. I put some on as my lips are dry. He asks about the color since I dont usually wear lipstick.

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I tell him that its a lip balm that I hate due to the color. He says "yeah youre right you look so ugly right now"

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And I break. We're in a restaurant. And hes calling me ugly. I have to excuse myself because I get teary eyed.

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I later tell him that if he finds me so revolting we should break up. He shouldnt want to be with someone he finds ugly all the time.

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He apologizes and says he regrets upsetting me that he didn't mean it . He was just commenting on the lip color not about how I looked in general.

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He goes on and on about how he does find me attractive, and that if he thought I was "fat and ugly" he wouldnt be sleeping with me, that he doesn't sleep with "fat ugly chicks"

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this made it worse. As all I see right now is a bully.

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he says that our issues are only because Im so "insecure". That he feels like hes walking on eggshells

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implying I guess that if I was comfortable in my skin, I would laugh at these comments.

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I dont know maybe hes right, but that shouldnt give him the right to tear me down. If anything, If I am insecure, shouldn't he try and avoid making hurtful comments over my insecurities.

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I don't know reddit. Please help, is this guy someone who just puts his foot in his mouth, or what is he trying to do.

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I do think he finds me attractive, but I dont understand why he tears me down.

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tl;dr : bf constantly makes jokes at my expense over my looks, my face and my body. He thinks the issue is my insecurities and that he should be able to make jokes without feeling like hes walking on egg shells.

Submitted October 31, 2018 at 09:12PM by micherty https://ift.tt/2ETVjFz