Me [40F] with my guy friend [39M] of eight years puts conditions on our friendship and threw a tantrum when I called him out on it.

There is nothing romantic between Leo and I. I am not attracted to him and I never have been. I have a feeling Leo might be attracted to me but has never acted on it. Leo has not had a girlfriend since I've known him for eight years, refuses to join a dating site. Leo is kinda snobby. I would say he's one of my top five friends.

Leo is well-connected. He is a doctor. He barters and treats patients for free, and in return receives things like free meals at upscale restaurants and opera tickets. I am the first person he will invite to accompany him, and it's been this way forever. I don't ask for anything from Leo. He will offer something and if I accept, I try to do what I can to reciprocate. For instance, I gave up an entire weekend to help him pack and move/unpack his house. I was the only one who showed up to his birthday party with a gift, and it was pretty pricy. Everyone else came empty-handed. I've also baked him countless stuff, given him x-mas presents when no one else has. I might add I have never received a bday or xmas gift from him, ever. I've done a few small errands for him without a word. I do all of these things for him as a friend would do for someone they care about.

But lately I've noticed that he will invite me to an opera or a symphony or out to dinner, and once I accept, he will follow up with a condition on it. He only does it AFTER I accept so now I can't wiggle my way out.

First off, I don't really want to go to these opera-type things because it's exhausting making a mad-dash to get there on time, and frankly they're kind of boring. It also means I have to leave work early or even take off the entire day because the opera house won't let you in if you're late.

But the minute I'll agree to go, he will text, "Yay! So what are you going to buy me from Paris" or "What restaurant are you taking me to beforehand?" or "What are you going to cook me for dinner?"

He states these things in an entitled manner and it infuriates me.

This happened about six times over the last year, with the most recent occurring a few days ago. I declined several times, but he kept persisting saying he couldn't find anyone to go with him.

Finally I was sick of his pestering so I said, "Okay, I'll go with you." I agreed to go because, one, I was tired of him asking over and over, and, two, I felt bad for him because I know what it's like not to have a partner to do things with.

He follows up with, "You can cook me dinner beforehand" and a smiley face.

I lost it. I texted back "Why?"

He texts back, "Because I"m taking you to the symphony."

I said, "Dude, I barely have time to cook for myself. Why didn't you tell me before I accepted that that's what you expect from me?"

I went on about how he places conditions on everything he invites me to, only AFTER I accept does he demand I have to do XYZ for him, and he doesn't even give a chance for me to show my appreciation without forcing me to do something in return.

To which he responded "Friendship is a two-way street, though."

I told him I agree.

Anyway, it did not end well. He told me to stop texting because he hates texting, even though I stopped texting long before he did. then he said forget it, he's going to donate the tickets to charity if I'm going to act that way. (Big BOO-HOO, I didn't want to go anyway) Then he called me a coward, then he apologized and said let's talk in person.

I didn't respond to any of that and I'm not sure where to go from here. I'm hurt. I feel like he views me as a business he barters with. In most cases, he gets the tickets for free, so I don't know why I owe him anything.

Any thoughts on his behavior or how to handle this one?

TL;DR

Close platonic friend invites me to fancy events, and only once I accept, he will throw a condition on it telling me to cook him dinner or buy him something or some other ridiculous conditional crap. Not sure how to handle it so I keep the friendship.

Submitted October 01, 2018 at 12:39PM by milkybluish https://ift.tt/2xSNfPv