Hi everyone.
I keep having the same fight over and over and over again with my girlfriend and I feel like I'm at my wits end trying to deal with it.
I'm going to tell the story of the most recent iteration of the fight here as an example, but bear in mind that this fight happens more or less regularly but with different specifics subbed in.
On Saturday, we went to an amusement park with some of our friends. I knew I wasn't a fan of thrill rides, but I didn't realize how much I didn't like them until then. They make me super anxious and I just don't really enjoy them. I started the day going on them, because I didn't want to be the guy that doesn't do it, but I quickly realized I was having so little fun that being the guy who doesn't do it seemed better.
She was understanding at the beginning of the day, but before the day was over, she told me to "shut up and stop whining," and called me variously a pussy, a bitch and a chicken. Which annoyed me, but I wasn't going to make a big deal in front of everyone.
Yesterday morning, I told her how much it bothered me. She quickly got defensive, and began saying that she was only joking, that I need to learn how to take a joke and that I'm "too sensitive."
We fought about this for the rest of the day. I'll admit that, at a certain point, I felt totally pushed to the edge and told her to "go fuck herself." It wasn't right, but when you try to explain to someone for hours that you just want them to be nicer to you and the only thing they do in response is explain to you why you deserved the comments you got and why they're fine, it gets exhausting.
Eventually, she apologized, because I compared it to things she doesn't like that I don't make fun of her for. She said, "When you put it like that, I get it, because I can't change those things." She said she was sorry that she makes me feel unhappy by the way she talks to me.
Fast forward to today, and she once again starts telling me how "lame" I am for not liking roller coasters. I told her that we just had this argument yesterday and I would appreciate if she didn't say things like that to me.
She said, "I don't get why it annoys you so much when I say you're lame? Like, if you said that to me, I would just own it."
I said, "No, if I ask you not to do something because it hurts my feelings, you need to respect that and not explain to me why I'm wrong."
She said, "No, you just need to learn not to be so sensitive."
I told her to leave because I can't deal with her. And now I'm here typing this.
Like I said, we have this exact fight somewhere around once a month or so. Not about roller coasters, but about some mean thing she says. I'll ask her to stop, and she'll just try to explain to me why she's right to do these things.
I'm starting to think we're both right. Maybe I am too sensitive. For her. And maybe she's too mean. For me. I just feel so disrespected in this relationship, and I don't know what to do about it. Because sometimes I think there's something worth salvaging. And a lot of times I don't.
Any help would be appreciated.
tl;dr: Every time I tell my girlfriend she hurt my feelings, she tries to explain to me why what she said is okay and that the issue is I'm too sensitive.
Submitted October 01, 2018 at 08:10PM by KingHygelac https://ift.tt/2P3SAKp
No comments:
Post a Comment