I [23M] seriously need some advice on how to proceed from this super messed up situation with my soon to be ex-girlfriend[22F]

So there's kind of a lot to this whole situation, if you have to the time to read and respond I truly appreciate you. I don't really like to ask people for help often, but right now I don't have anyone to talk to and I'm completely lost with no idea what I should do. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for three years now, and everything has been amazing. At least I thought it was. I mean, lately things have been a bit weird, so I could tell something was up but I never would have expected to find so much. She's dealing with severe depression, sometimes suicidal thoughts, a lot of it having to do with the ridiculous amount of pain she deals with a majority of the time from having a really advanced case of stage 4 endometriosis which has caused her to develop huge lesions on multiple organs and major nerves. She often needs help with almost everything because of the pain, and she can't manage to keep a job because sometimes she can't walk and can't go in to work, and when it happens too many times, she loses her job, and this happens over and over again. I've been there for her through everything. I've traded shifts at work, given up shifts entirely, skipped classes, skipped family events, and stopped physically taking care of myself, put myself about $7,000 into debt, all so that I can be there for her when she really needs me and I could take care of her when she couldn't take care of herself. I've supported her financially through a lot of her financial screwups (not paying car payments or insurance and getting her car repossessed for the 2nd time in 5 months because she never wants to tell me when she needs help). I'm always willing to help, even though I'm barely scraping by myself. She used to do so much for me, but for the past four months she hasn't done anything for me at all. I figured it was because of how depressed she's been, so I just doubled down and did everything I possibly could to try and get her out of it. I thought it was working, because things were really good again for the last few weeks. But then this morning she called me at 5am, completely wasted and said "Tom I need you to come over. Actually no don't." And then she hung up and wouldn't answer the phone. I drove over to her house, and I found her passed out on the bathroom floor. I woke her up and she looked at me started crying and hyperventilating going back and forth between saying that she wants to die and that she's scared of losing me and how she wants to marry me. Then she looked at me and said that she's gonna go to sleep and she hope's she doesn't wake up. I took her to lay down in bed, thinking she was extremely drunk, tired, and depressed. I tried to comfort her while she slept it off and occasionally woke up, but then I noticed her bottle of Gabapentin capsules that she takes for nerve pain, and it was significantly more empty than it was the day before. I asked her about it and she told me she took about 20 of them and then drank more vodka... I asked her what was going on and she admitted that she was trying to kill herself... I had no idea what to do, I just wanted to take her to the hospital but she was fighting it with everything she had. I went downstairs and told her mom what was going on, and she asked me to get my girlfriend's doctor's phone number from her phone so she could call him and then we'd take her to the hospital, so I went and grabbed her phone. I unlocked it and it was open to messages with some other guy, and I saw nudes. A lot of nudes. And fuckload of sexting.

I gave her mom the doctors number and then I started looking through more messages, ended up looking through her snapchat and instagram accounts and found out that she's talking to 8 other guys that I saw actual messages back and forth with nudes, sexting, even a couple of "I love you" messages with 2 of the guys... and there are more guys she's texting and snapchatting, (including some random 47 year old guy that messaged her on instagram last night whom she gave her number to and facetimed for hours last night while I was at work)... but the one that hit me the hardest was to somebody who she's talked to for our whole relationship, who I've met and thought was just a friend because I actually trusted her... First, here's some quick context: I just recently took her on a surprise trip so San Diego for her birthday and did a ton of romantic, fun stuff for her, and she told me it was the absolute best birthday she has ever had... Saturday night (we were together all day and night) she sent that message, and it said "I wish it was you that was with me in San Diego" . I legitimately got nauseous and dizzy. Then in the next guys messages, I found videos of her masturbating, and pictures/videos from two nights ago, again when I was at work, of her making out with and fucking a girl that we hang out with together pretty often... and this is all after I caught her texting somebody else a month ago. I told her then, that if it was anybody else who I was dating that did that to me, I would leave. But I love her so I decided to try to stay and work through it... she acted so devastated at the idea of losing me and swore over and over again that nothing like this has ever happened before or will ever happen again. But clearly that's absolute bullshit.

While I was finding all of this, her mom talked to her doctor and he recommended that we take her in so they can hold her for 72 hours for psych stuff, but also said that she's gonna be okay physically and that we should at least bring her in later. We're gonna be bringing her in when she wakes up and go from there, but as far as this relationship goes I'm done. I know that I'm never gonna be able to trust her again. The relationship will never work without trust. It fucking hurts right now, so much. This morning I still wanted to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her, now I feel sick around her. I'm furious, shocked, depressed, concerned, and a whole other mess of emotions I can't even identify right now... despite everything, I do still care about her, so I want to stick around until she wakes up and we get her taken care of... but I don't know how the fuck I'm gonna go about this whole thing when she wakes up and starts talking to me. Any sort of advice, or really any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Shit, I appreciate the opportunity to vent through this even if nobody reads it. If you did read everything, whether you reply or not, thank you so much. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

Tl;dr: my girlfriend who has a lot of health problems and who I support in pretty much every possible way, tried to kill herself this morning by taking a lot of her nerve pain medication with alchohol, and while I was trying to get her doctors phone number, I found nudes and whole bunch of other proof that she's cheating on me, texting and sexting at least 8 other guys. I want to make sure she's okay and gets the help she needs, so I'm staying until we get everything taken care of, but I can't be with her anymore and I don't know how I'm supposed to go about this.

Submitted October 02, 2018 at 12:39PM by GoldSoulStoner https://ift.tt/2xWYs1u