For a little bit of back ground, I am the youngest of my parents’ six children (yes Irish Catholic family). My parents married young, started their family young and finished quite late. My eldest brother is 50 and I am 26.
I am very close with my father, we are similar in personality. Both quite quiet, interested in the same things and would deem ourselves and sensible, laid back and rational people. My mum is quite the opposite, she is very emotional, highly strung, speaks and acts before thinking and is extremely sensitive. As a result we have always found it difficult to find common ground with each other and were never particularly close.
When I was around 11 my mum was diagnosed with MS (the lesser serious relapsing/ remitting rather than progressive MS). I understand that it does cause her problems but she has reminded me of the fact every single day and at sometimes I feel like she really rejoices in her diagnosis. At points I feel like she gets jealous of her friends who have been diagnosed with progressive MS. I find it really odd.
My mum enjoys playing he role of “the sick person”. No matter how ill your are feeling she will make sure that you understand you are still not as sick as she is. I remember once being sent home from school as I collapsed randomly, my elder sister happened it be in my house at the time. The doctor on call came to visit me, whilst there, my mum couldn’t stand that I was getting all the medical attention so faked a seizure while the doctor was there. My sister was livid.
As I got older and moved out I tried my best to make more of an effort with her. At the end of the day she is my mum and I only get one. When she starts going on and on about her illness and symptoms I just let it go over my head and move on to something else.
My fiancé (32M) and I are expecting our first child. My mum is over the moon to have another grandchild and that her baby is having a baby. I have tried to involve her as much as I can as she just loves family and children. It will be cruel to keep her at a distance even though it’s all she talks about and can get a bit relentless.
The thing is, she has asked me if she can be my extra birthing partner. She knows girls who have recently had babies in the hospital and they were allowed their partners plus another birthing partner... how do I tell her no without hurting her feelings? This would not be a problem with most but she is extremely sensitive and emotional.
I just feel that in a birthing suite she would get up to her usual antics to make sure she is the sickest person in the room and be more of a hindrance than a help.
Just looking some advice as to how to approach the situation. I feel like that I can be a little insensitive as I expect people to be as rationale and straight forward as me. Sorry for the lengthy writing also.
TL;DR! How do I explain to my mum that I don’t want her to be my additional birthing partner without crushing her feelings? She is very sensitive and emotional. I feel she may try steal the limelight as such.
Submitted October 02, 2018 at 04:18AM by shineonmac https://ift.tt/2OBAEKp
No comments:
Post a Comment