I (26f) am in a dilemma with this guy (36m) I have been seeing for just over a month now.
We matched on a dating app and when we met we clicked really well. No issues when hanging out and really just enjoying each others company.
I am aware there is a bit of an age gap so I assumed he must have been In long term relationships before or even divorced or has a kid but it was something we never talked about. We never got into deep conversations during our time together, which I’m aware also is a red flag but I was sort of okay with it being more casual and just enjoying being together.
I started to notice some things that threw me off and this whole story has taken such a turn. I’ll start by mentioning that there was women’s face cleansers and olaplex shampoo which I’m almost positive he wouldn’t use. He did say he gets his skin care stuff from Sephora but I just can’t get myself to believe that it was his. I thought “ok so he’s either seeing another girl or just got out of a relationship” I was fine with that because we never established we were exclusive so I just didn’t think any more of it.
During one of our hangouts he left for work in the morning and let me sleep in at his place. When he left I got this urge to do some snooping. I started to get a weird gut feeling so I just started walking around his place to see if I could find any other indicators of him being in a relationship. Well I find a bottle of pills in his kitchen and the label has a woman’s name on it.. so I search her name In social media and find out that they are either engaged or were engaged AND he has a young kid. Like probably only 2 years old.
It’s important to mention that he is working in the province we are in for work (Canada) and he actually lives in another province where this woman and his child are living.
The bottle of pills was labelled for a couple months ago so I concluded that they must be together I guess? Or are they co parenting and trying to be friends? I don’t know. Well more red flags have come up and now I’m at the breaking point.
He told me one week that he was going back to original province that he lived in for an “appointment” so I just figured hes definitely going to see his kid and probably this woman too. We texted the whole time he was there so part of me is also like “wouldn’t she wonder who he is texting and why he’s on his phone so much?”.
It ends up getting more suspicious. Just recently he texted me from a new number stating that his current phone “stopped sending messages” I was like okay.. but in my gut I just felt this was so weird. He states that he just bought a cheap phone while he waits to get his current one fixed (which btw is a pretty new iPhone so I don’t know why it would just stop sending messages suddenly). So my initial thought is he’s trying to hide me and text me from a different phone, but again.. wouldn’t that be more suspicious for him to have two phones in front of this woman instead of just put our conversation on do not disturb so there’s no notification ?
ANYWAY. We kept texting on this new number that he has (also important to note the area code of the number is from the province he is originally from, where the alleged fiancé and child live too). How could he buy a phone here with an area code for a different province?
The last straw is when he texted me two days ago saying that his mother fell and is flying back east to help her and is going for 5 days. His parents live on the east coast, like the complete opposite side of where we are now. I thought it was weird because he told me he can never get time off work (he works 6 days a week) and he said she is going to be okay so I’m not sure why he is going for so long, no offence.
We have texted every single day since the day we met and ever since he told me he’s last minute flying across the country he hasn’t messaged me. Now.. I just have a feeling this is some sick lie and that he is actually going back to his home where child and fiancé are. I mean.. it’s the long weekend here in Canada.
I have found the fiancé (or ex fiancé) social media and am so tempted to message her and see what’s going on. Is he really in a relationship still with her and has he been lying to me and using another phone to get around the fiancé finding out? Or are they actually really not together? He is here for work for up to 4 years so I just don’t understand how they could manage to stay together. I’m also concerned why he isn’t in the kids life?
I want to figure this out and let her know if he is cheating. I also want to call him out for this terrible behaviour if this is all in fact true. PLEASE ANY ADVICE WOULD BE APPRECIATED. I am so lost and upset and just want to figure this out. I have no idea what to do.
TL;DR guy I’ve been seeing has been hiding the fact he has a kid. Found a woman’s pill bottle at his house and also found out he is engaged or was engaged. He is living apart from them in a different province and will be for almost 4 years. Bought a different phone and has been lying about where he’s going. Want to reach out to the potential fiancé and see what’s going on.
Submitted April 07, 2023 at 04:28PM by blc2727 https://ift.tt/mhpzdHe
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