I made a classically stupid mistake and hooked up with my roommate. It only seemed right. We had become very close within 2 months of me moving in. He used to sit up till I got home from work and admitted talking to me in the evening was the favourite part of his day. 4 months have passed and the relationship has been wrought with tension.
He needs space. A lot of it. I irritate him so easily. He still says he loves me at least once a day but I doubt it. I don't feel loved. It probably speaks more to my own issues- I have a terrible fear of abandonment. I have an anxious attachment style. I've been treating my depression and anxiety with meds and therapy the last 2 months and while I've noticed improvements...Rome wasn't built in a day. I get upset if we only talk for like 10 minutes a day when we're both home for hours. I can't understand why he wouldn't want to have sex or watch an episode of something. Or just talk for 30 minutes. It's at the point where I'm scared to knock on his door when we're both home. One time I was away for 2 days and knocked on his door a few minutes after I came home and he told me not to do that and i cried. Most of the time, I wait for him to initiate contact. I feel like I bother him otherwise. I just want to feel wanted. Don't get me wrong, I have my studies, my friends and Im an avid reader and like to paint, but if we're both home for like 5 hours, surely it's weird not to interact with me for a few minutes?? He should want to be around me if he "loves" me. I want to sleep in his room/him in mine twice a week and right now it's like twice a month.
I would've ended it by now if we weren't stuck in a lease for 6 more months. He has said the same. When I got upset over a lack of attention 2 weeks ago and was crying, he said he's sick of feeling he can't do enough for me and I'm clingy. He has said he loves me and he knows I'm "normal" (probably not) and he isn't counting down the days till our leases are over but... How do I make the most of this situation? I think he likes me as a person but he doesn't love me.
TLDR: How do you enjoy a relationship that has a deadline?
Submitted March 01, 2023 at 04:30AM by sparklingpiglet https://ift.tt/JsWlvza
No comments:
Post a Comment