Me (28F) and my gf (26F) have been together for almost 5 months. We fell for each other deeply, and very fast. We have the same sense of humor and have been through a lot together. This is her first same sex relationship but she’s never once made me feel weird about it, it doesn’t bother her at all.
We were so in love she came out to her whole family, that I’ve met and really consider them like my own. My gf has been wonderful to me, she’s helped me in more ways than I can say. But we’ve had our problems. She’s very type A, organized, has a well paying job. I’m depressed and struggle financially. Very type B and like to chill most of the time but I work a very demanding job for 9 hours a day. I know she doesn’t love my qualities and wants me to be better (drink less, not party as hard). I’ve essentially moved into her apt, she wanted me around all the time and so did I. I lived with 2 roommates and she lives alone, so it just made sense. She made it comfortable for me, put my clothes in her dresser etc.
Fast forward when things started getting bad. I have a low libido, I tend to come home from work exhausted and I really enjoy when we cuddle in the couch and watch shows to wind down. I’ll also play my switch to relax while we watch. She works from home and is “on” way less than me since I’m in an office being scrutinized by my 2 bosses. She gets more time to relax. She’s said in the past that we don’t do enough things together, that we’re lacking intimacy and I’m never in the mood for sex despite her advances. I acknowledged that and told her to combat this, I was okay with her making out with other people when I’m around, or if she does it when I’m not than I don’t want to hear about it. But make out. That’s it.
2 weeks ago we were at a lesbian event. This is new for her since she hasn’t really dabbled in the “scene”. I can see why it’s excited to be around so many people “like you” and also hot people. That used to excite me too but I’m passed that stage in my life. Well I had work the next day and I encouraged her to stay out with our friends. She ending up coming home at 7 am and told me she “made out” with someone. What I found out later was that she had sex with her, and worst of all it was with a girl I used to dates’ friend. So I very much will see her around. My gf was so ridden with guilt she couldn’t move or eat for days and then tried to “unalive” herself. She sent me a goodbye note and I quickly called her mom who was in shock. My gf had never done anything like this. Or even thought it or shared personal stuff with her family. It was terrifying, but ultimately I told her we would work through it. I believed she loved me so deeply and was sick to her stomach at what she had done. I believed her. For the days that followed she was wonderful. She brought my confidence up and was kind and I thought I was in heaven. I asked her she’s just acting this way because she of guilt but she said no. She’s just so lucky that I chose to stay.
Which brings us to, today. A week after the cheating she told me she needed space to work on herself and us. That her brains a mess and she feels like she’s losing parts of herself because she’s too busy worrying about me. She wants to maybe date other people so she can be sure of us. I had left the apt for 2 days before this conversation to give her space, she begged me to come back. And when I did, a day later she tells me she does actually need that space. What is wrong with me? It’s been 5 months, why can’t we just be happy?
I think this is all about her feat of commitment. I feel played and stupid and need advice.
TL;DR: My (26F) gf wants a break to “figure herself and us out” 5 months into the relationship. She cheated 2 weeks ago.
Submitted December 13, 2022 at 11:18AM by zamaleklovers94 https://ift.tt/ftlEoQh
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