My (24M) mother (58F) opened a secret credit card under my name while I was in college, accrued over $7k on it. Dad just paid it off.

In 2017, during my second year in college, my mom opened a credit card under my name. She proceeded to pay for a variety of things over the years, some of which were for my sister, speeding tickets, gas stations, and one instance of even paying over $3k in taxes.

I found this out because I was lucky. My friends told me to get a credit card to start earning credit score, so I opened one and got my first card. I pay it off in full every month and use it for groceries. The company I opened it through just so happened to be the same card company that my mother used in 2017. So when I created an account with my new credit card, there were 2 amounts showing on my brand new account. I was confused. In fact, being new to CC usage and naive, I thought that the 7k was my amount I had available to use. However, all of the statements are visible, and every purchase is visible to me.

I talked with my parents, and my dad claimed he never knew about this. The first time I called my mother, she hung up on me because I was yelling/furious. Telling me I can't talk to her like that. When I finally calmed down and talked to her, my mom claimed it was for me, for my college. She even tried to keep telling me that she told me about this, that this was all already known to me.

But the writing is on the statements. I never knew about this, and almost all payments were not for me or my college. There were even a few times payments were spent going to dinner together.

I was never really taught to talk about money in my house growing up. But nowadays I feel responsible and more knowledgeable about my finances. Yesterday, I made my dad take a credit report to ensure his safety. Especially since, according to him, he doesn't know anything because mom runs all the finances in the house. His credit seems ok and there's nothing out of the ordinary, he told me.

My credit score varied throughout those time periods, at one point dropping below 600 with one missed payment. It is above 700 now, and she keeps claiming that she's been paying it off. The problem is she's only been paying the minimum, and it's existed for 5 years. According to the calculated interest time on the statement, if she kept paying the minimum and I never found out about this, it would take 28 years to pay off.

I told my mother you need to pay this in full in 120 days, or else I'll file a report to the police. I screamed at her, and it felt awful. I never wanted to scream at my mother like this. She said she doesn't think she could do that in 120 days. And she couldn't believe I would threaten her to jail. Unfortunately, my dad (who just retired and is trying to relax) is now the one paying for this. He is defending her, and told me "You really want to see your mother in jail after all we've done for you?" but also seems just as confused and stressed as I am.

The payment was made, but now I'm feeling completely exploited, violated, and used by my mother. I'm also upset with my dad for seemingly enabling this. I asked her why she would use me like this, told her she is a criminal, and that if it happens again and I see any activity on my credit report I would not hesitate to file a report immediately. All she could say is sorry, and she kept asking (in a snotty tone mind you) "Is there anything else you need from me?" I said no.

I don't know where I'm going from here. Whether she chose to do this in seemingly good faith ie to "build credit" for me, or out of aloofness, or desperation or anything of that sort... I don't know. I still love my mother, but there is still a lot that doesn't make sense. I'm still so hurt and confused. I ordered everyone's Christmas presents already, but I don't know if I'll be going to see anyone during Christmas this year. I want to assume she didn't do this out of maliciousness, but it was definitely a selfish act and is now causing distress and trust issues.

• tl;dr -

Mother opened a CC in my name without my knowledge or consent, told me it was for my college but used it for her own purchases, accrued over $7k and my retired dad now paid it all off at once, leaving me feeling confused, hurt and breaking my trust. Now I don't know how to move forward.

Submitted December 02, 2022 at 10:26AM by lovelyluck https://ift.tt/PgCdtzq