Im on mobile so I’m sorry for any formatting issues my post may have.
Some background: I’m the oldest of 4 kids (23M, 21F, 14M) and I feel like my mom uses me as a 3rd parent all the time. It was always my responsibility to take care of my younger siblings, even in middle and high school, and it continued while I was living at home getting my bachelors degree. I was expected at 18 to get a job and contribute to the monthly expenses/bills while paying my way through school. I moved out not too long ago after I watched two of my siblings turn 18 and not have to pay anything towards the household expenses. I actually spend less now that I split with roommates than I was spending at home.
Since I’m moved out my family is feeling the financial burden grow. My siblings are resistant to contributing any money monthly, which I feel they should as adults, and my mom will call me begging for money. There’s the guilt tactics of something is going to be shut off to the entitlement anger. When I’m not being asked for money I’m being asked to parent my siblings because “they only listen to me”. I don’t want to parent them, I want to be their fun older sister. I’m worried they only see me as another mom and not me as myself. I feel like my mom sees me as a peer and not as a daughter. I want to be parented too and not be the one doing the parenting. ): My mom looks for parenting advice from me that I’m not equipped to give. I’m reluctant to cut all contact because she has a chronic illness that makes her very ill and I feel very guilty not talking to her.
TLDR: I don’t know how to establish a healthy boundary with my mom of not being a third parent or ATM.
Submitted September 06, 2022 at 03:48PM by OhCharmedImSure https://ift.tt/rk4T1vH
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