I’m uncertain if I should propose to my girlfriend of 5years. Advice needed.
Background: My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years. 3 of those years were spent living together and for the past 6 months we have been doing long distance. She moved several 100 miles away to pursue an amazing career advancement and I’m in professional school in our home city. Realistically, we won’t be able to live together again for at least 3 more years and upwards of 5 depending on factors out of our control.
Question: Prior to her moving, we had discussed getting married. We’ve gone window shopping for rings, she’s been sized. We verbally agreed that by the end of 2022, we would be engaged. However, long distance has changed my view. I still want to marry her eventually, but I want to see how our first year of long distance goes. I’m reaching out to you to get your thoughts on my judgement and for advice on how to break this news to her.
I do not want her to think I’m looking for the door. I want to propose so badly and if we were in person there would be no question. Even now, I think it would show her how serious I am and how much I love her. The only thing stopping me is that when I look at the relationship objectively, I’m not sure I can handle long distance. She’s working 12 hour days and we only talk for maybe an hour a day. We exchange 3-7 texts a day. We’ve not been intimate or sexual in any capacity. We haven’t had any dates due to her hectic schedule. If her team has a project deadline approaching, then we talk even less. She realizes her schedule is affecting our relationship and has apologized for being distant, but nothing has changed. Supposedly, after she gets more established in a few months, her workload will decrease and she will have more time. I’m thinking I’ll wait to propose until her workload decreases because if it’s 3-5 years of what we’re currently doing, I don’t think I can handle it.
Have you ever experienced something like this before and do you have any advice on how to best navigate my dilemma? How do I speak to her about this without blaming her for everything? Is it even the right call to postpone or should I just propose if we’re going to be together anyway? Thanks.
Tl;dr - gf of 5 years recently moved and we’re now doing long distance. We had plans to get engaged by December, but I’m not sure that’s realistic anymore. How do I tell her this without her feeling like I’m giving up on the relationship? Is it even the right call to postpone or should I just propose if we’re going to be together anyway?
Submitted September 25, 2022 at 08:09PM by Throwaway592840527 https://ift.tt/ZIGNP4v
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