Getting a Divorce
So me (30M) and my current wife (30fm) have had quite the demise of a marriage. My wife, who is a "tiktok influencer" asked me if it would be OK if she went out and hunted with this other married man who also did "tiktoks". Me being secure in our relationship, I agreed but made her promise me, that if these people come in between our marriage, than they need to go bye bye, which she agreed to.
A couple months go by, and I really start to notice the communication between the 2 are starting to increase drastically. They would be texting till 2am and the she would be waking up at 6am just to get on her phone again to text him. I started to feel super disconnected from her, bc I worked alot and tried to be the supporting husband. A couple more days of this goes on, and I decided to get onto her Facebook bc there was just too much going on, it was impossible to ignore.
I ended up finding a picture of the man, in his bed with his shirt off saying good morning to my wife. And then seeing another picture of my wife standing in a mirror saying good morning back super casually. I didn't know how to process the photo back in March, so came up to my wife the next day and told her I was feeling insecure about the relationship she was having with this man, which was something that was hard for me to even admit bc I was confused, and was secure when I agreed to let them hangout.
She insured me nothing was going on and not nothing was happening. I had to leave out of town for work the next day. When I was about 2 hrs away from home, she gave me a call and told me she was going to the grocery store. This set off a red flag for me, bc I had been doing all the shopping. So, after the call, I looked at her location (she had shared it with me during hunting season) and sure enough she was out that man's house. And on top of it. The previous photos I mentioned where deleted.
I called my wife back and asked where she was, and she said the grocery store....I told her that I knew she was lieing, and then confronted her about the photos for which she also lied to me as well about even existing.
She called me back in complete remorse, being super apologetic. For which I told her she had broken all my trust and that this man had crossed the line...even if they didn't do anything sending that picture. Keep in mind, this man is married with a 8 month pregnant wife at the time smh.
A couple days later, my wife goes from being sorry about the incident. To taking a stance that I shouldn't have been looking through her messages and that she is unhappy in our marriage. And then proceeds to down play the current issue with this new issue of being unhappy.
I was told not to text the man's wife, bc she was due, so I didn't want to be responsible for anything bad happening to the kid. My wife then refused to get rid of this man, claiming him and his wife where her friends and that I was being controlling. Yet keep in mind, men don't send pictures like that to other married women, and frankly with the lies alone....I knew our marriage wasn't going to work if this man was gone bc he was a distraction.
For the next 6 to 8 weeks, my wife would still paint this picture, of how they don't have a thing at all. However, every time I wanted to work on our marriage, friends and family always took precedent over me, and with no trust from this incident, she just expected it to come back fully in a months time, which was not possible when she wasn't making time to begin with.
We end up getting into a fight in April, where we separated for 5 days. Upon getting back, we said we would put the past behind us, move forward. Which we where....until I found photos of her posing in the mirror in a thong that where not sent to me. I confronted her about them, where she was immediately disgusted by the photos, saying she sent them to her sister bc she was working out again.
Keep in mind, there are alot of personality changes occurring with my wife, clothe style, music, and even odd changes in the bedroom.
We basically struggled, got into more and more arguments. She kept claiming she never cheated, but her actions never showed me or made me a priority. I started to question my reality, bc I kept being told one thing but her actions would keep showing me something else. Every time I would bring up the promise she made to me, when she meet these people....she would discard it, saying that she doesn't have too, bc "good friends are hard to come by"
We eventually got into some nasty fights, and I later in June found out she had been baiting me into fights and recording me secretly. She filed for divorce about 2 weeks ago, claiming extreme cruelty. And is now painting the narrative that I was mentally abusive too her and that she is a victim.
As I said, we had been married for 6 years, I tried my ass off to make it work, and no matter what I did, it was never enough. I dropped 45 pounds in 8 weeks, I started going to church, I got a better paying job. It just saddens me, that I loved this person unconditionally for the last 6 to 8 years and in the span of a couple months I'm out the door. It is also important to note, she was married previously and had an affair to that man as well, but told me, he was mentally abusive as well. So in the end, I guess the writing was always on the wall. And before anyone says I was insecure....understand this, he crossed my boundaries on what I was ok with as a man, and as a husband and what I will choose to tolerate in a marriage. It was never about control.....it was always about getting rid of the distraction bc clearly trust was destroyed. There is still so many more details to this story. That a novel could be written. But at the end of the day, I gotta respect myself and stay true to myself.
TL:DR Summary: My wife basically lied about photos of another married man, and even going over to his place. I tried to end there relationship....bc the man had crossed my boundaries for what I was ok with in a marriage. For which my wife declined too do, and after many fights and arguments. We are now getting a divorce
Submitted August 08, 2022 at 07:07PM by Economy_Copy_6337 https://ift.tt/vlEuwbt
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