tl;dr: after 8 years together, 2 small children, and working toward our mutual goals together, my depressed husband has decided he wants to join the army despite knowing from 3 months into our relationship I could never be a military wife and did not under any circumstances want that life. (Props to military wives. They are strong women!)
I need help and advice. My husband and I met 8 years ago when he was 23 and I was 27. We are now 30 and 34. He has 2 unplanned daughters from his high school sweetheart (they were never married), that were born when he was 19 and 21 years old. We had been together a few months and he told me he wanted to go to the marines but hadn’t because of his two kids. I told him good because I could never be a military wife. Ever. NOT the life for me. Don’t know how people do it because for so many reasons I could not. We were married at 1 year. He has randomly talked about it over the years, that he wished he could’ve been in the marines. I remind him that we wouldn’t have been married if that’s what we wanted. End of conversation. Fast forward- we have a daughter that is almost 5 and started pre-k today. We have a son that just turned 2. They are daddy obsessed! My husband suffers from mild depression but refuses to acknowledge it and will not take medication. (I am a NP). He got a new boss at work and due to the last few months he now hates his job. We went through some marital issues in April and June this year. He is depressed for several reasons, understandably I guess. He told me yesterday he has been talking to an army recruiter for several months and they have a contract drafted up (or however you’d say that military terms ish). Um, WHAT?! I was totally caught off guard and upset at first that he has been looking into this for months and not talked to me about it at all. Then I calmed myself and tried to listen to his reasoning and some info on it. Reminded him that is a life I told him I never wanted or could do from the very beginning of our relationship. I thought about it all day today. Couldn’t focus at work. Anxious (I have GAD), angry, sad.. no! I could not do it. I feel even more strongly than I did about it in the beginning of us because now we have kids! We have spent 8 years discussing and working toward mutual goals of a family, land, farm, me an NP, and him owning his own electrical company which he is approximately 2 years from doing. NO!!! I want to support my husband in his goals, but this is not something I can do. I feel like his time for that and option to make that decision is over. He chose to ask me to marry him when I told him I could never do that life. We created this life together. H E L P!!!! ADVICE!!!
Submitted August 29, 2022 at 09:43PM by Positive-Guarantee28 https://ift.tt/pVWg9aU
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