My ex and I dated 5 years ago. It was a clean break up on my part, what we wanted out of life was different and it was just best to move on. My ex didn't take the break well at first and was a bit stalkerish (online) so I just went NC with him. I have no feelings for him and I'm with my beautiful gf.
My friend and I met up for tea and lunch the other day and she let me know that she had started seeing my ex and they've been together for 6 months. I was completely blindsided. I let her know that I was uncomfortable with this and I didn't want him back in my life through her and if she insisted on still going out with him then I would end our friendship.
Of course she didn't like that and couldn't believe I was giving her an ultimatum and making her choose. She said she's been so nervous about telling me then accused me of still being in love with my ex and being a bad friend. She was making a scene so I simply got up, told her that she can choose to date whomever she wants, but I also get who I want/don't want in my life and just left.
My friend group is divided. Some think I'm way too mature/secure to react this way and there's nothing wrong with two consenting adults dating. Others think I was right and that she should've asked me first.
I don't feel particularly "betrayed". However, I'm just not willing to put up with the awkwardness and discomfort of the situation especially with a friend I see a lot. I absolutely hate walking on eggshells. I can't control what she does in her life, but I'm also free to make my own choices.
The only thing making me question things is that my gf is on her side. So I was hoping for some outside opinions.
Edit: my issue isn't with my friend but with my ex. I don't want him in my life nor to know things about me through her. Don't want to see him or meet him and I don't see how that can happen if he's dating my close friend.
Edit 2: I got into the habit of minimizing what he did since his stalking behavior was online and not physical. (That's what ppl around me kept saying) so apologies for not elaborating on his stalking.
I blocked him, and he proceeded to make a new profile/email every day to send me messages and emails. My Instagram profile is now private because of this. He question every person who commented/liked my photos and accused me of lying to him about liking men and being a lesbian secretly (I'm bi he always knew this).
Tl;dr: friend started going out with ex and I want to end our friendship as I don't want him back in my life.
Submitted January 01, 2022 at 01:39AM by Star1014light https://ift.tt/3pGZE4y
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