Ex BF (23M) ditched me at a gas station at 4am on NYE. Am I being too harsh in cutting ties with him over this?

TL;DR My ex walked off while I was inside the gas station and didn't come back even though he said he was, he was blackout drunk and I nearly was, I've pretty much cut ties with him over this. Am I being too harsh?

Hi all, thank you for your advice in advance.

On NYE said ex (23M) and I (23F) were at a party with all of our friends and ended up leaving together around 4am.

We were both really wasted, him more so than me - I knew that and the fact that it was time for him to go home, I knew nothing was going to happen between us that night and went with him to just hang out and make sure he got home safe.

We stopped at a gas station on the way back (the party was a 20 minute walk from his place and we walked, not drove, in my country its normal to walk home after parties) to get vape pods. I went in and when I came back out he had completely disappeared. I called him asking where he was and he replied that he was down the road (a few minutes further toward his house) and I was like you just left me here ... at 4am that's dangerous. I can't remember the conversation entirely as I was drunk myself but he responded with a variation of 'it's chill/relax, I'm gonna come back' etc.

I was pretty annoyed because I was shivering cold, drunk, and scantily clad, alone at a gas station in the middle of the night with a bunch of creepy dudes around who were harrassing me (thankfully murder/kidnappings are relatively rare where I live) I gave him a few minutes anyway and looked down the road and saw that it was abandoned, and he wasn't actually coming back.

I called an uber home and texted him that this was one of the most whack things he'd ever put me through (toxic relationship) and to never do this to a girl again because it's dangerous.

He woke up the next morning and called me saying he had no idea what happened and was trying to get me to come to his house all day. We had a phone call that day where I said that it was a mistake for us to be chilling in the first place and I was really hurt by what he'd done. He apologised for leaving me, and was saying I gave him mixed signals and he can tell I still love him and that it confused him why we couldn't hang out sometimes.

I later heard from a friend he'd called his flatmate asking to have people over after he'd gotten home (after leaving me) and that he'd then passed out on the front porch, where he woke up, saw my messages and then called me not knowing what happened. I guess he forgot that he'd left me there?

I sent him a message today basically saying that I'd blocked him and found what he'd done to be messed up and that trying to get me to come over still was disrespectful, and that I wanted him to leave me alone the next time we saw each other in person (going home together was a mutual idea).

He's now saying he was blacked out (which he was, I was too earlier in the night and getting left at the gas station is pretty much all I remember clearly lol) and that it wasn't on purpose and that he had no control over the situation, and that its sad that I'm cutting contact with him over a situation he had no control over.

My question is - am I being too harsh on him? Did he really have no control over the situation? I've been blacked out before but have never left someone in a dangerous situation because of it. I just want to know if I can actually be hold him accountable for this/if I'm justified in cutting him off for it. In my book being drunk is never an excuse for anything really but I know sometimes people are out of their minds.

Thank you all for your help, my friends are sick of hearing me talk about this dude lol.

Submitted January 02, 2022 at 03:31AM by aklviausa https://ift.tt/3zhQajb