My [23F] best friend [28M] is completely in love with me and it's ruining the friendship. I just don't know what direction we can go in from here.

So I met who is now my best friend 4 years ago, we were on a recreational mens/women's mixed baseball team together. We both said early on that we just wanted to be friends. He was sort of a mentor to me at that point, I was about 19 when we met. We went for coffee a lot, texted.

As the friendship grew we went to movies, had non-sexual sleepovers (I slept on his sofa bed after nights of movies and beers, for example). We really became best friends. We call each other best friends. He really became the pillar in my life that I could go to, and me for him.

However 6 months ago, "Matt" we'll call him, stopped dating other people and told me on the phone one night that he was falling for me.

I'm still deciding what I want with my life and was very blunt that I love him as a person and friend but not in a relationship or sexual way whatsoever. I don't want a relationship or fwb with him at all. I just like him as a person and friend. He was okay with it, and we decided to just stay friends.

But now, it seems to have ruined the friendship. For example, he makes small comments sometimes that leave me reminding him to knock it off, we are just friends, and he apologizes and says "I'll get over the fact that you don't want me, it will just take a bit". Stuff like that. I completely stopped doing sleepovers or more intimate 1on1 hangouts that could give him the wrong idea. Our long phone calls have stopped.

I don't want to lose this friendship but I'm not really sure where else we can go from here. He has said that he "doesn't see his feelings for me changing at all and doesn't want to date other people even if I just want to be friends" when I encourage him to start dating. Again I reminded him when he told me that that that's completely unrealistic and will leave him disappointed. He just brushed over it.

I'm really not sure what to do here and really feel that I've lost my best friend. I'm not sure what I should tell him anymore or if I'm going to give him the wrong idea if I return to our normal friendship. I just don't know. It feels like we hit this horrible point of no return. Advice?

TL;DR my best friend told me he's in love with me. It has changed our friendship to the point that I don't know what to do. Advice?

Submitted April 21, 2021 at 02:24AM by hilahjsoo https://ift.tt/3gtR4So