My (18F) friend (19F) is uncomfortable with me hanging out with her boyfriend (18M), who is my childhood best friend.

I have been friends with the guy since I was in middle school, and grew close with his siblings and family. We had the kind of friendship where I could go to his house whenever I wanted, ate with his family, and comfortable sat in his room alone, with no side intentions.

I have been close friends with my female friend during high school, who is also my neighbor. Last summer in 2020, we spent almost every day together, which brought us even closer.

I had a big family party in summer 2020, causing my male and female friend to meet. I had introduced them briefly to one another during this time. My female friend was still involved with another guy, and my male friend was single.

During one of my hangouts with the male friend, we ended up making out and doing things together in the car while we were both high. Neither of us regretted it, and neither of us took the situation romantically, and considered becoming friends with benefits. I told my female friend about this, and she suddenly became interested in my male friend. She dropped the guy she was talking to previously, and made plans to hang out with him a few days after I made out with him. Neither of them ever hung out one-on-one before (as they only ever met briefly a few times) but they decided to meet up. During this meet up, they ended up hooking up. They continued to do this a few times until she moved away to another state for college a week later. After this, they became a long distance couple. Since they started dating, we both decided that we would not try being friends with benefits.

I was a bit startled by this at first, but felt it wasn’t my place to feel uncomfortable or jealous and they were both my friends and I never really felt romantic feelings for my male friend in the first place. However, I did feel weird with the fact that she hooked up with him right after I did. While my female friend was gone for college, I continued to hang out with my male friend like I normally did. When she came back for winter break, I continued to hang out with both of them. After she left for college again, I began to hang out with my male friend, her boyfriend, more often. We would eat dinner together, watch TV in his room together, and go drive around together. It got to the point where we made sure that we saw each other every week. However, I had a feeling my female friend was growing jealous as she was in another state and was in long distance. Additionally, his relationship with her is a secret from his parents, but his parents are open to having me around. It got to the point where his family thought I was dating him, and I always denied their questioning.

While she was away, I became aware that she started to track my location while I was with him. She also obsessively tracked where he was when she knew he was hanging out with me. It made us both uncomfortable, and we decided to turn off our locations sometimes when we were together, which made her paranoid and completely freak out. At one point, she admitted: “I wait for your location to leave his house so I can FaceTime him.” Sometimes, my male friend tells me not to post us together or say we’re together so she doesn’t get jealous.

In all seriousness, I do not hold any feelings towards my male friend. I find my female friend to be one of my closest friends. However, I feel conflicted whether or not it’s okay for me to hang out with my male friend out of respect of their relationship. He told me not to worry about what she thinks, but she makes many sub comments on social media platforms to signify she was feeling jealous without directly telling us. Whenever I ask her if she’s okay with us, she tells me there is nothing wrong with our friendship since we’ve known each other for so long. But I have a feeling it’s bothering her more than she lets on.

In conclusion, I’m not sure if it’s okay for me to continue to see my male friend this often, even if it is just platonically, out of respect for my friend’s long distance relationship with him. Thoughts?

TL-DR!: My friend is dating my childhood best friend, and is uncomfortable that we hang out since she is in a long distance relationship with him.

Submitted March 31, 2021 at 11:29PM by cutekaisoo https://ift.tt/3dsGd8f