Higher-income as a girlfriend (31, F) with boyfriend (28, M) who has inheritance money for his own apartment

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly three years, living together for one and a half. About ten months ago, I landed a new job that had a significantly higher salary than my previous one, and I make around three times as much as my boyfriend. Before this, I was out of work for a while (four months) as we moved to another country and has significant setup costs upon arrival and have had some small debt to pay back.

Since getting the job, I feel like I've been very generous with the new disposable income I have. I cover most meals (I would say 70%), groceries and vacation costs. We split rent and utilities 50-50. Recently, I've noticed my boyfriend become more expectant that I should be paying for things due to my higher income. I think this would be okay for me, but the clincher is that he has recently been on the hunt to invest in his first apartment with his parents paying for a significant downpayment. He has also been quite lazy in looking for a better paying job - he complains about the poor salary but never proactively looks for work.

I'm not a homeowner but hope to be one day, and I'm starting to feel resentful towards this dynamic and his expectations. When I bring this point up to him, he makes the comment that the money is not his own (for the downpayment), which I find ridiculous as the property will be in his name. He is more referring to the fact that he has less cash flow than I do currently.

I come from a family that didn't have much money growing up, and a mother that was always worried about it. I'm very conscious of not becoming like my mother, but also feel like this new dynamic is unfair and limits my ability to hit personal finance goals. Am I being unreasonable? Or is he?

TL;DR: Girlfriend feeling strain in the relationship with boyfriend due to unbalanced financial split.

Submitted April 12, 2021 at 04:52AM by Sorbet-This https://ift.tt/2Rptw6F