My (26F) boyfriend (27M) once asked me to dress "moderately" and now I don't feel like dressing up at all

We have been dating since August 2020. We're based in a conservative town where you'd get sl*t-shamed and victim blamed for your dressing quite easily. Dressing well & looking nice is a huge part of my personality and also a big chunk of my spending. I love pampering myself & looking my best. My family has never made me feel like I've had to be a certain way for men to not harass me. I've always worn what has made me feel sexy and confident and I've always felt supported. On Valentine's Day, I threw on this knee length dress and almost opaque leggings and some heels. My bf told me I had to dress a certain conservative way when we were at his place so that I could avoid being harassed. It did throw me off completely for a bit but had to remind myself he meant well. I really get where he's coming from. Now I dress much more conservatively when I'm with him. It makes me feel very underwhelmed and unsexy but it's something I have made myself do.

We've been planning a dressy date for a while now and we decided on a day. I got new clothes, booked a MUA to do my makeup, etc. We're not going to his place this time. But the closer it gets the more I dread it. I'm scared to feel like the way I did on Valentine's. I feel like I was slightly victim blamed, the possibility that my clothes could evoke a catcall. But at the same time, I feel like if I don't stay true to I am, I'm giving in to a mindset and a society that doesn't align with me. I have been unapologetic about a lot of things in life and this is one of them.

I'm really unsure of how to go about this. Is there a conversation I should have with him? Do I brush it under the rug? I don't know.

tl;dr: bf asked me to dress a certain way, unsure how I view & feel about what he said and about what I should do.

Submitted April 12, 2021 at 04:54AM by spoopythepumpkin https://ift.tt/2PZcImL