My (33m) girlfriend (32f) is high strung and anxious and regularly breaks down with depression, and I’m feeling totally burned out.

My girlfriend is truly special, she is beautiful and funny and kind and interesting, just exactly what I want in a partner.

Except for the fact that probably a quarter of the time she is deeply and irrevocably depress and anxious about her life, which objectively is going VERY well. Just as an example, she just got a massive promotion at her job which she loves, we live in our dream city and are saving up for a house, basically I cannot imagine a scenario where things are better.

And yet about once a week she will have a total emotional meltdown about one of her big insecurities, whether it be her job, her weight, our relationship, etc. And I am always there to bring her back to earth and remind her that things are good and that I love her and think she’s beautiful and has nothing to worry about.

But honestly, a lot of what she is in crisis about is solvable, and my opinion is that if there is something in your life that makes you miserable every single day, you should make a concentrated effort to change it. And frankly, she doesn’t.

For example, every so often she will break down crying that she is overweight and disgusting and unattractive, and the reality is that she is not, and I tell her every day how beautiful she is and it’s true! She is a tiny bit overweight, and to be totally honest she could lose it if she tried, but she gives up on everything almost immediately and resists and bargains on things like limiting food portions of calorie counting or exercise. I mean, I know weight loss is difficult, but being miserable every day is worse!

Of course I understand that depression isn’t logical, and also she goes to therapy and we talk through A LOT about these issues, but as much as it’s not fair for her to struggle with these issues, it’s not fair for me as her rock either. And as someone who dealt with depression and anxiety myself for a long time, I know that the only way out is deliberately and focused effort, and no matter how much we talk about it, I don’t see that happening.

And I guess ultimately I don’t know if I can handle this for the rest of my life, and looking for advice.

tl;dr: My girlfriend is very high-strung and has breakdowns constantly, how do I help her without getting burned out?

Submitted February 11, 2021 at 05:49PM by jackinitt https://ift.tt/3tP7jh8