My (26F) boyfriend (30M) really hates the fact that my ex boyfriend (27M) is still in my circle of friends. He told me last night that he feels jealous and that he cant control how he feels, and that even us being in the same room makes him uncomfortable.

I've been dating Micah for about 2 and a half years now. Hes hung out with my friends enough that he is practically considered a part of our group of friends at this point. Sometimes we will hang out with levi, who I dated from 21-22, and we remained good friends after. I barely even think of levi as a 'ex' in that sense, hes just a friend. I've always got the sense that Micah doesn't like levi but he always denied it and said he was fine, until we hung out with them at the park. He was acting weird when we got back from the park, like really weird. He just sort of burst out in tears and admitted to me he cant stand the idea of Levi still hanging out with me. He said he is jealous of levi being handsome and that his stomach hurt and he got literally physically ill when Levi took his shirt off at the park and he realized he had a way better body than him. Like he literally got so jealous and upset that he got a stomach ache. I remember him looking uncomfortable, but I didn't think it was because of that. He also mentioned Levi having a large penis, which is a pretty widely known thing that people joke around about, and he said that also makes him feel like shit. He made Levi out to be this like greek god of a man compared to him, but Micah is attractive too! Its not like Micah is some kind of ugly guy, he is absolutely a very good looking guy, and I am not just saying that because he is my boyfriend.

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He wasn't trying to say it in a way to say that he thinks lowly of me or anything. He said he cant control how jealous he feels, and that he feels terrible about it, and that he cant get the thought that he is a downgrade from levi out of his head. I told him, Micah, I chose YOU, not him. And he said he tells himself that a lot, but also he knows that I didn't break up with him, he broke up with me. Which is true. I even told him I was devastated when he broke up with me for a bit, partially because he found a newer and hotter girl right after me. He also said that he sometimes feels like there is 'no possible way' I dont have sexual thoughts about Levi. I told him that was absurd, and that i dont. He just said that its ridiculous for me to deny that I don't have the occasional fantasy about him, and that "random girls seeing him on the street probably have fantasies about him, but you somehow have never? you've had sex with him, you've dated him before, dont lie to me". And frankly, he was right, I have fantasized about levi sometimes. Not like, commonly at all. I've fantasized about a lot of guys. But what was I supposed to say, that yes, I have fantasized about him? It felt needless intrusive into my thoughts. I just didn't respond, and he took it as an admission of guilt, which in many ways made it worse. But again, like, he shouldn't even be asking me this. I don't ask him if he has ever had thoughts about sarah or rachel or any of the other girls we hang out with, nor would I, because I almost figure its a bit of a given that he probably has. But I understand he was in a bit of a crisis mode, so I am not super mad at him over this.

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I then said that sex with Levi wasn't even that good, and that we didn't often have sex because it was painful with him a lot. And he got even more upset and basically said "yeah, because he has a huge penis, I know". I felt incredibly stupid for mentioning the 'pain' part in that moment. I didn't even know what to say, there was a bit of a silence, then he basically just said apologized and said he shouldn't have said anything and now everything is gonna be awkward and he doesn't want anything to change and all this stuff. He said he doesn't want to stop hanging out with them and he doesn't want me to feel like I have to change anything, and that he regrets saying what he just said. He kept on calling himself stupid. I once again was just silent and sort of in shock, and I said okay, and that I am really sorry he feels that way. Then he went to work.

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What am I supposed to do? How am I even supposed to handle this? I am somewhat glad he told me the truth but I am also really kind of devastated at this. I cant even really mentally comprehend this level of jealousy to the point where it results in such a mental breakdown, especially after literally 2 years of this. Has he felt this literally the entire damn time??

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Tl;DR - - boyfriend broke down to me and said he is super jealous of my ex who still hangs out with us.

Submitted February 16, 2021 at 02:25PM by tiwoko101 https://ift.tt/3dmVjhc