I don’t really know what to do. For context, we’re both in college. Juniors, to be exact, but she started school early so she’s a bit younger. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment, just the two of us. We met at orientation as freshmen and have been pretty close since, so we decided to move into the off-campus apartments together. She’s a good friend, an ok roommate, but I try to talk to her about whatever issues we have and be upfront about it. Also, We live in St. Louis MO.
Ok. So about 2-3 months ago, my roommate/friend joined a discord. A BDSM discord. She’d just gotten out of a 4-5 month relationship, following what was a long-term relationship with this guy who was an ass. I think after those two, she wanted to try something different, explore her sexuality some more, etc. ending up talking to this 36-year-old guy from California, they established an open relationship, and they talk a lot on discord. Open relationship as in they can screw whoever they want on the side and the other party doesn’t have an issue with it. Apparently while I was away for the holidays, he had flown over from California and they spent a couple days together. I had no knowledge of this, and was a bit freaked out a guy nearly twice our age really into BDSM knew where we lived, but whatever, I just started locking my bedroom door more.
Anyways. I finally had the chance to talk to him over discord one night when my roommate and I were drinking some wine. He’d been smoking, but was not drinking. We ended up getting pretty wasted, he said somethings I thought weren’t entirely appropriate, and even took advantage of our drunken states to ask us to do some things sober me would never do. Nothing heinous or especially awful, but definitely something that looking back makes me super uncomfortable.
That was a week or so ago. Last night, again while we were drinking with some friends, my roommate asked if he could stay over for a week. I at least had the foresight to tell her to ask me when I’m sober, and I’m so glad I did.
So here I am, trying to decide if this man twice our age that I’ve never met can fly over from California and stay in our tiny 2 bedroom apartment for a week. She’s had boyfriends over before, and I’d been ok with it because they were pretty respectful guys who kept to themselves and didn’t put me in any uncomfortable situations. But I’ve already been in a few with this guy over a discord call. I don’t want to be a downer and say no, because flying here and then getting a place to stay can be pretty expensive, but at the same time, I don’t really want this guy here for a full week. She also pretty regularly lets me have people over too. Friends, mostly girls who don’t stay the night, but still. Maybe I’m being a prude and overreacting. What should I do?
Edit: clarification.
Edit2: thank you all for confirming I’m not currently living in an alternate reality where that would be ok. Definitely will be telling her no, and probably keep distance from him when they’re on a call together.
TLDR: roommate wants her BF from California nearly twice our age, who I’ve never met, come spend a week in our tiny 2 bedroom apartment. Am I crazy for feeling uncomfortable?
Submitted February 13, 2021 at 02:43PM by cheoliesangels https://ift.tt/2LUnvN6
No comments:
Post a Comment