My (20F) mom (49F) may be showing signs of hoarding + paranoia. My sister (17F) is missing and she's made up that it's my dad's scheme. How do I get her to seek help/therapy?

tl;dr my sister is missing and my mom still doesn't want help. She never thinks the issue is her and her behavior that's affecting others (or maybe she does know and ? hasn't done anything?).

I first noticed something was off in middle/high school. After the divorce, (my dad went and married my mom's maid of honor, who's well-off), she seemed very hurt but still determined. As the months and years went by, she started pushing people away. She doesn't have any friends anymore.

She started buying clothing and shoes before paying bills, which led to our house almost being foreclosed. If it weren't for her wealthy cousin giving her the $7k, we would've been on the street. It was the first time I really heard her sobbing. Now she buys and a bunch of stuff after bills. Also, in winter 2016 there was no food in the house. But she still had her packages. After my grandma pointed out her failures as a mom, she started going to pantries. She has not stopped since then. The pantry food bought bugs to the house. The house is a mess. You can't even see the floor. Clothing and food everywhere and she keeps buying and getting.

Now, every time something goes wrong, she immediately comes up with a way to blame someone else. When it's with the kids, she'll come up with the excuse that my dad is putting us against her. (imo, we all recognize they both kinda suck. I lean more towards my dad though because he seems a bit more rational and I live with him temporarily, but I know they both can benefit from therapy 10000000%).

Well, now my sister is missing. She was staying with an aunt after my dad begged the aunt because the house was no good (the hoarding + the rodents + its bad wear and tear) and my sister was looking for somewhere else to stay. She got kicked out because of her behavior and when we all tried to contact her, she blocked us all. She has a car, so she can really be anywhere now. She was skipping school when she was living with my mom, said it was because of work and because the rodents keep her up at night. Well, she was skipping school at my aunt's too. My mom has convinced herself that my dad called CPS (after my sister blocked her) to come after her (even though she herself recognized that cps was looking to speak to my sister, not her) and that my dad knows where my sister is and he's keeping it a secret from everyone (?)

Submitted February 01, 2021 at 06:24PM by ThrowRA-3435 https://ift.tt/3pKwkb0