I’m living with my (28F) husband (28M) for the first time in two years and I’m having a hard time adjusting.

I’ve been married to my husband for 5 years, but we have been together for 7 in total.

We started fighting a lot and just generally not getting along so we agreed to a year-long separation. This was the first time I’ve ever been alone and had to really adult. During our marriage, I relied entirely on my husband to handle finances and he made most of the major and minor decisions about our life. So, the first 6 months of our separation were rough for me and a massive wakeup call.

During that first year, we had no contact at all. We had completely separate finances and lived in different countries. Towards the end of the year, I decided I wanted to pursue my masters, so we kept living apart and were long-distance. I finished this September and my husband, and I recently moved back in with each other. It’s been just over two months and things haven’t gone as smoothly as we had hoped.

We clash on a lot of things. For example, my husband has never had to cook or clean for himself in his life, he has always had someone to do it for him. However, when I lived alone, I came to enjoy doing chores and I dislike having other people in my home. My husband absolutely doesn’t want to split chores since he thinks it’s a waste of his time, but I hate having people come to the house to pick up his slack. Another example is that we have very different sleeping schedules now. My husband is an early riser and has a strict schedule he follows. I enjoy having more freedom and flexibility which means we barely see each other in a day unless he has a day off (extremely rare). My husband and I also like to keep the house in different states. I like the house to look cosy and lived in, whilst he likes things to be kept neat and organised at all times.

I’ve tried adjusting to his way of life and it’s just not working for me. How can I get used to living with someone else again and how do we compromise when we like completely different things now?

TL;DR – My husband and I haven’t different preferences about our living situation and daily schedules. I’ve tried adjusting to his preferences but I’m finding it difficult.

Submitted February 14, 2021 at 12:47PM by ThrowRAroomiehubs https://ift.tt/3rTBYrJ