TLDR - found things on my boyfriends phone that show me we need to end things. Finding it hard to accept, not sure how to go forward.
Felt like my boyfriend was up to something weird, found out, not sure what to do now.
I guess I opened Pandora’s box and now I can’t go back ultimately. My boyfriend has been acting weird since Thursday, i found a cigarette and lighter on our outside patio when neither of us smoke. I showed him, and was worried because we live close to the street and someone could be coming up and sitting there to smoke. And his reaction was just weird. My initial thought was he had a friend over and didn’t want me to know, but then I thought maybe there’s more to it. I work a lot and he’s home a lot so he could really do whatever he wants.
Anyway last night he got far too drunk and couldn’t even talk when he came home, was saying he lost his phone so I found it while he passed out cold. Then I thought let’s just find out what’s going on so we know.
He’s always looked at porn, which is normal I supposed. But it started to get weird around may last year. I found a whole lot of stuff which he’s since deleted. But now he’s got all these porn links in note book files to drop box folders and a lot of them are of underage girls. Some of them are of children posed to look sexual but not naked. He’s also got deleted screen shots of a young girl he’s chatted on we chat or something, and a photo of a teenage boy he must have been posing as. He’s got Amazon receipts for porn purchases when we’re trying to save for a house. He’s got escort services links in his search history. And he’s got a hidden file of a video from a girl we met on a big holiday we took overseas (I should have broke up with him then, we were alone together overseas and he left me to follow her around like a puppy because she had big boobs).
I’m mad, because we’re getting ready to buy a house, then we were planning on getting married and starting a family before we turn 30. That’s clearly not an option anymore, someone who sexualises images of young children cannot be a father. I know all this. But then I’m looking at him and I think, that’s not him. I’ve spent 7 years with this guy I know what he’s like. But it was him. Our whole lives are together all our belongings, out cat, our lease on the flat we live in.
Everything I found tells me I need to end it before we get married, and it’s too late. How can I accept that and how can I move forward when we have our whole lives together? I haven’t talked to him about it yet. I’m gonna go to the gym, and think about how I should handle this.
Submitted February 13, 2021 at 02:47PM by teaser12225 https://ift.tt/3aj9Eta
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