My husband's parents have been welcoming to me from Day 1. We have been together for about 7 years and my relationship with them has only become stronger over the years. My MIL is caring, kind and generous. Last Christmas she gave me the cutest cat cup and some homegrown plants - really she could not have chosen better gifts for me. But on top of that, she also gave both of us very generous monetary gifts and told us to treat ourselves. They do this every Christmas and birthday, even though they are not so well off and my FIL is retired.
On my birthday in lockdown last year, she organised a hamper delivery as a surprise and every other year she has done a home cooked dinner and cake.
I've always had a difficult relationship with my parents, especially my mother. She was physically and mentally abusive when I was growing up and it has caused severe issues in my adult life with anxiety and a lack of self-confidence. We've started to mend our relationship in the last ten years but the way she treats my husband is in such stark contrast to the way my MIL treats me that I can't help but feel embarassed.
My parents live in a different country, but we communicate often by text or calls. They also visit multiple times a year, with last year being the exception due to COVID. They are also extremely wealthy so money has never been an issue for them.
My parents never asks how my husband is doing. They have never asked when his birthday is. They didn't even give him a Christmas present last year (I didn't get one either) even though we sent them one.
My husband has gone above and beyond to show my parents how much he wants a good relationship with them. Every time they have come to stay, he chauffeurs them around everywhere, pays for all their meals and anything they want to buy, stays with my dad to look after him (he is unwell and not very mobile) so my mum and I can go shopping. He really could not be doing more for them, and I love him for it.
I can't even tell my mum how I feel because she gets defensive at the slightest criticism and will immediately say something like "Oh I am such a bad mother, why bother talking to me. I will just die alone." or "I never asked your husband to do those things. WHy blame me?".
I know I'm lucky to have parents-in-law who are so kind and loving and I should just focus on that, but I wish my parents would just be better people. My husband has never once complained about the way he is treated, he honestly doesn't seem to mind and wants me to have a good relationship with them, but I can't help but feel embarassed.
TLDR; My extremely wealthy but selfish parents treat my husband poorly, while my not-so-well off parents-in-law are extremely loving and generous to me and it makes me sad and embarassed.
Submitted January 20, 2021 at 04:31PM by Throooooooowaway21 https://ift.tt/3iyBjIX
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