I am a 39 male with a twin brother. When I was born my parents were not married or currently seeing each other. My biological father did not want to have anything to do with me or my twin brother. I have spent my entire life wanting to ask my biological father questions. I finally got the courage to reach out to him.
I tried reaching out to him in the past. About five years ago, I tried messaging him on Facebook but he did not respond or view my message. This may be due to the fact my last name was changed as I was adopted at an early age by my stepfather. I also tried contacting my biological grandmother for answers. She did not seem interested in starting a relationship. She would not answer any basic questions citing it was too personal. This was her answer given to a lot of my questions. I did not think to ask her to contact my biological father on my half. I learned last week she died in March of last year.
I do know a handful of things about my biological father. I know he had 2 children with his current wife. Ten years ago, one passed away due to cancer. The serving child is 21 years old. I plan to not bring anything I found on the internet up as I do not want to cause him to become defensive or be creeped out.
Three weeks ago, I finally found his email through a background check. I emailed all his known emails at once. He responded saying he did not want to answer my questions over an e-mail and wanted to do a phone conversation. My biological father requested to do a phone conversation for the following week. I agreed as I have waited nearly 40 years to talk to him and another week would not hurt. After a week I contacted him for his contact information. He emailed me he had been in the hospital since Sunday and he would contact me once he was out of the hospital. A week later he contacted me and informed me that he would talk to me the following week. Today is the day I might talk to him! I am very nervous. I have no idea how to conversation will go.
What are some healthy expectations to have?
How do I cope with a bad phone call?
What pitfalls or problems should I avoid?
I am also worried that he's giving me the runaround. I do know that I will try to carry a neutral or positive conversation. I will try to be free of judgment. I do know this will be difficult. I will try to remain calm and hear everything he says with an open mind. I am semi-prepared for him to request to never speak to him again.
tl;dr: I am talking to my biological father for the first time. I would like advice on how to handle the situation.
Submitted January 20, 2021 at 04:12AM by whoami4546 https://ift.tt/2Mdu2Sz
No comments:
Post a Comment