The title is misleading, but hear me out.
Tldr: I want my ex's gf to know that I appreciate her existence, but I don't know if it would be weird.
My ex and I knew each other for 3 months when I got pregnant. We made it work for about a year-ish but we were also babies when we had a baby and it just didn't work out. Cue a couple years of pretty hostile co-parenting, but we are both in our 30s now with an AMAZING daughter and we are really spot on with raising her. We both went to therapy, cleaned up our acts, got good jobs, and grew as people really well, and our daughter is polite, talented and happy. I consider myself lucky that I have a good, albeit "business like" relationship with him as far as our daughter is concerned.
A little over year ago my ex started dating someone. This is the first real relationship that he has had since we split and she is an amazing woman. The fact that they've been together for over a year, with 6 months of that being long distance (she was finishing post grad work), and also knowing my daughter loves her, holds a lot of weight for me.
In contrast, I've been with my SO for 2 years, and his ex has been kind of a nightmare when it comes to their kids. Im not going to get into it because I don't feel it is relevant, but co-parenting with her has been really hard. We have his kids 5 days a week on her insistence. She basically has no interest in being a mother but has also made it clear that she does not want me in their lives.
I am not sure if I am projecting my own insecurities at the above situation or not, but I kind of want my ex's girlfriend to know how awesome I think she is. I think she is really good for my ex, and I think she is a great role model for my daughter. We have only met a few times during drop offs but she was always very kind and polite. I take my daughter out shopping every year to buy a Xmas present for her dad and she wanted to buy one for his girlfriend too. Would it be weird if I extended a sort of olive leaf in the form of a card to go with the present ? Nothing sappy- just a few short lines to say thank you for being in my daughters life, I appreciate her moments with her (painting her nails, playing barbies with her, taking her out hiking when my ex is at work, etc) and that I'm excited to have another woman who loves my daughter as much as I do ?
I just know what it's like to be with someone who has children with someone else and my current relationship has made me feel so alienated from SOs kids that I don't want her to feel the same way. I truly am genuinely happy that she is a part of their lives but im not sure if it would be weird for her or my ex to express that.
Submitted December 23, 2020 at 06:22PM by auraboros https://ift.tt/2M4wLhk
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