Should I give my (30F) boyfriend (32M) of 5yrs one last chance to compromise &/or fix things or break up?

I’m in a conundrum. My bf & I have been together 5yrs, living together for 1yr now. After the first year (honeymoon phase) we started having issues that I felt was lacking in our relationship. Less sex; if at all, less quality time, & just an overall lack of effort on his part.

Though out the years these issues would crop up because I would hit a point where I would start to feel neglected and not prioritized which would be about 2-3x per year. I would end up bringing up my issues & he would tell me he would work on it. From all these times, he would get to fixing the issues &/or compromising for about 2-3wks. After a month, he would fall off the wagon & get back to his usual MO of prioritizing his own self-serving needs.

Now that we’ve lived together for a year, I’ve noticed that we hardly have any sex, if at all like 2-3x per month; I’m usually the one who brings it up & he will then schedule a time to do it. It’s not exciting or spontaneous this way but I end up desperate at that point so I take what he offers me.. He says he has a low libido & blames it on that. Yet my issue is that even with a low libido, he could still take care of me without having to do PIV. Oral, toys, hands, there’s so many options but he doesn’t do it unless it’s PIV. Sometimes he will also cancel on me &/or reject me and I end up feeling even worse & disappointed.

Our quality time has also dwindled during this pandemic. Even tho we live together, I feel like we do even less things together. He tends to stay at his desk; telling me he has tons of hw, playing games, watching videos, etc. I feel alone in my own home with him. As a solution he watches shows with me & considers that quality time when I don’t consider that to be quality time. I try to ask him to do things with me like go grocery shopping together, cook meals together, etc but I’m met with excuses, attitude, he’s tired, etc.

I’ve also started to have issues with him cooking just for himself. I tend to cook huge batches of food & make it so we can have multiple meals out of it. I also consider his dietary needs when I cook. When he cooks, he cooks only to his tastes & hardly considers my tastes. So the end result most of the time he cooks, I don’t eat it. This makes it even harder to have quality time bonding together cause we don’t really eat together.

With the pandemic & me being a nurse, it’s been really stressful for me. I’ve reached the end of the rope with my bf in our relationship. It doesn’t feel reciprocal & I tend to feel like I’m running on empty because my needs aren’t being met from him. I’ve told him so as explicitly as possible & promptly gave him 30days notice to move out. He’s asking to give him one last chance to change/compromise & prove that he can make it work.

My compromise is that he needs to move out either way & if he truly still wants the relationship with me then he can work on it. The ball will be in his court. If he wants to make it work then he will make the effort. If not then he will find excuses.

Extra info: he has a couple of cats that he will have to take with him; they are his pets. He would have to move back home with his mom who doesn’t allow pets or only temporarily. Not for long term stay. So he would have to rehome his cats. This is a huge point of contention for him to stay living with me as well.

TL;DR: Tired & fed up from not getting my needs met in the relationship. He has had yrs to work on issues & hasn’t stuck to compromising long term. Should I give my bf one last chance to change & stay living with me? Or have him move out & he can prove himself then? Or should I just end it?

Submitted December 23, 2020 at 11:20PM by throwaway-extra- https://ift.tt/3rrgIdC