My[29m] now ex wife[28] texted me today to apologize for cheating and asked to speak again. I blocked her, but since I've stopped dating and basically gave up romantic relationships, her text reminded me that I am lonely.

Hi all, on mobile so.... you know

Back here again to seek some advice. If you want some background on the relationship, the only other post on this account was on here basically spilling my guts about it. My issue now is that a few years after separation she's just messaged me saying she's disgusted with what she did, got therapy, and wants to talk to me again.

I am aware that she lost her job when the virus hit, and that she is likely very lonely since lockdown, so her reasons for reaching out to me now feel obvious and frankly selfish. It threw me for a loop when I got her message, and the crazy rush of swirling emotions it caused me led me to block her.

While I don't see myself ever forgiving her, the message reminded me that I haven't been with anyone physically since her. I went on a few dates after the divorce, but it felt off, and when one of the women I was seeing asked if we could be exclusive only to leave her phone with a tinder convo open with another guy stating the complete opposite on the first night I was over, I pretty much checked out of romantic relationships.

I want to take a moment to to say that I am not misogynistic and have met many fantastic, loyal, caring women in my life. Men, women, gay, and straight can all cheat, and I am in no way advocating that other people give up romantic relationships.

My issue personly is that while her message made me realize I'm lonely, I personally don't want do it again. The ridiculous amount of time and effort involved in being a good, loyal, caring, and supportive partner I've put into relationships only for it to be figuratively spit on, as well as being with people who say all the right things only to ultimately do the opposite has, I think, made me understandably jaded.

I'm struggling with this for a bunch of reasons though. Unfortunately I do have a libido, and am attracted to hot women. I have had success with approaching them and could go for more, but there are two problems. Meaningless sex with randoms doesn't really do it for me. While I am very sexual and adventurous, I like to be so with a singular person who cares about me as do about them. Second, each time I've dealt with infidelity it's been with attractive partners. I've been avoiding a woman I went on a few dates with because while we hit it off, and she seems like she's fallen for me, I am not as physically attracted to her as I have been with others. When she came on to me hard I had to distance because I don't want to hurt her by hitting and quitting. I feel bad about it, but I keep considering it because it feels like maybe she wouldn't cheat on me? But it'd be wrong to string her along when I don't have the same feelings for her. And again I have other options, I just can't seem to get over this hangup that the hot ones cheat.

I don't know. I guess I ended up rambling again on here. My advice related question I guess is, should I try again? Thanks for reading, and if you do have any advice, I'd appreciate it.

Tl;dr: ex-wife's text reminded me I've been out of the game for a few years. Still hung up on being cheated on. Unsure if I should get back out there.

Submitted December 01, 2020 at 01:23PM by throw23456away1234 https://ift.tt/3fZuFKg