My fiancee's (F31) brother (M30) is syphoning money from their mother (F62) and it ruining all of our relationships.

M (the brother) has always been irresponsible with money and possessions. He went to college for 6 years and never graduated. He was kicked out of the airforce for drugs. He has totaled 3 cars and had numerous wrecks over his short driving career. All the while, Mom (B from now on) is the co signer of his car loans and student loans, yet pays 90-100% of those bills. B works a part time job at fast food place making $500 every 2 weeks. M works for uber/lyft.

After the last car got totaled, we begged B not to co-sign on another loan or M will never learn responsibility. Well she cosigned anyways. Flashforward to this weekend as we all hang out for Christmas. We all plan to go to M's house, we arrive and there is no food, no presents for anyone from M, hell there isn't even one Christmas decoration in the house. My fiancee and B are driving together and B gets a phone call about M's student loans. B doesn't want to tell my fiancee or bring it up to M because it might upset him. Well my fiancee has had enough because we all already had this conversation a year or so ago about M paying his own debts.

My fiancee tells M that B is getting sued for $15k and can't be paying for M's bills. M flips out and screams about being attacked and mad at my fiancee for not bringing it up in a more polite way. He also starts listing off all the bills he pays, which is the same for everyone, oh except for the $800 on drugs he and his gf bought. B starts crying and this lasts an hour or so. B is so upset she wants my fiancee to apologize M because he upset him. We end up leaving and this conversation continues over the phone for the next several hours.

In the end everyone, B, my fiancee and even M's gf have to apologize to M so he will calm down. (He has been abusive in past relationships and at this point B is on the verge of a mental break down so my fiancee goes along with it even though we are extremely pissed at him.) After it all cools down we talk to B about her finances and it turns out she is spending about half of her total salary for M's car payments and student loans, while M contributes next to nothing. M knows that B will continue to pay bills until she's bankrupt and takes full advantage of that.

How do we stop B from enabling M to waste all his money on drugs while she is paying off his debts that she can't afford

Tl;dr my soon to be MIL enables her son to abuse drugs and treat her and everyone like shit along the way

Submitted December 24, 2020 at 09:12AM by sharkalligator https://ift.tt/3aHdhcP